FireGirl:Aftermath
by HungryForMore74
Summary: Firefighter Katniss Everdeen and her brother firefighters just went to hell and back when they responded to The World Trade Center on September 11th, 2001. This is Katniss' story about what happened next. For her, for Peeta, for her family and for her brother and sister firefighters.
1. Chapter 1 The Way Home

This is a Hunger Games A/U.

A/N. This is the sequel to FireGirl. It starts at noon on September 11, 2001. If you can read FireGirl. s/8604635/1/FireGirl you should. I admit it is a tough read because of the subject matter. If you can't read it you can start here. Firefighter Katniss Everdeen and Battalion Chief Emma Dever are just leaving Saint Vincent's Hospital after being treated for minor injuries received in the collapse of World Trade Center Tower Number One.

* * *

"When we get back to the firehouse. Check the new work schedule and then you can go home." Emma instructs me.

"I'm not sure how I'll get home. Gale drove me in. My car's in the shop."

"I'm going home, I'll drive you."

Gale had been on my mind. I don't know if he's okay. When I get to the house I'll call Rescue Two's house and check.

When we get to the house I check in. Tell them about Bear. Then I'm told that except for the chauffeur the entire engine company is missing. It's overwhelming.

I try calling Rescue Two, my mom and Peeta but all the circuits are busy.

"Katniss, let's take a shower before leaving." Emma says.

We go up to the showers and put the women sign on the door and I essentially hose myself down. I'm covered in dust. After my shower I dry myself off. I just sit there on the bench and the images of the people falling out of the building flash through my mind. Oh shit, I can't think about that. It's too horrifying. I have to occupy my mind with something else. Peeta. That's better. I'm worried about him. Right now he doesn't know if I'm dead or alive.

I put my hair in a ponytail instead of my normal braid. Still wet. And get dressed in my jeans and polo shirt.

"Ready?" Emma asks. She's dressed in a pale blue sundress. I don't remember ever seeing her in pants except when she's in uniform. She always tries to show she's a woman.

We start to drive home in silence. Through the Lincoln Tunnel and up the Jersey Turnpike. I finally ask "How do you do it?"

"What?"

"Not cry."

"Why shouldn't you cry?"

"Well, being a girl, I guess I'm expected to act like one of the guys."

"Bullshit. You cry if you want to. We're going to be going to a lot of funerals and grieving. The boys will be crying. Believe me."

I look over and see the tears going down her face.

"I've been to a few firefighter funerals. But my Dad's was the only one for a line of duty death. I remember it like it was yesterday." I say.

"I remember it too."

"You were there?"

"Yes. You were dressed in a navy dress with your hair in a braid. Your sister was also in blue. She had blonde hair."

"Wow. You have a great memory."

"You remember things that have an impact on you. It was my first funeral also for a line of duty death and the thought of two girls growing up without a dad hit me."

We finally get into my town. I direct her to my mom's house. I'm sure Peeta is there. As we turn the corner I see my mom sitting on the porch. She see me in the passenger seat and she runs towards the car I get out and she wraps her arms around me. I don't think she intends to let me go. Ever.


	2. Chapter 2 Home at last

"Mom. Where's Peeta."

"Oh. Honey. He just went to Stewart's for milk. Oh God I'm so happy that you're okay. You are okay? Aren't you?"

"Yes Mom. I'm okay."

"Mom. This is my Battalion Chief. Emma Dever. Emma, this is my mother Rose."

'Very nice to meet you Chief."

"Please. Call me Emma."

I leave my mom talking to Chief Emma and walk inside. I pass by the small case with my father's helmets, flag and badges. I can feel him move through me. It was him who gave me the strength to help me escape. I love you dad.

I go upstairs. I spend most of my time at Peeta's but I still have my bedroom here. Most of my cloths are at Peeta's. I grab a skirt set that's in my old dresser. Wearing skirts and dresses is a rarity with me. I was a tomboy growing up and I guess I still am. Prim is the girlie-girl.

I start the shower and enter it. It feels good to have the warm water flow over my body. My mind drifts off. I'm in the lobby looking at the burn victim. Oh shit stop it. I shake my head and clear my mind.

I stop the shower and start to fill the tub. I sit down and stare at the water flow out into the tub. I wrap my arms around my legs and pull myself in tight. The tub water is warm and feels relaxing.

The thoughts of today are overloading my mind. So much so I didn't see Peeta in the room kneeling next to the tub. He has a washcloth and is gently pouring water over my shoulders. I turn around and give him a broken smile. With tears in both our eyes he embraces me. We don't say a word to each other. We are one. We know how we each feel without saying a word. He goes back to pouring water over my shoulders.

"Do you remember the last time you bath me?"

"Yeah. It's been awhile."

"Don't stop again."

"I won't."

"I met Chief Dever outside. She seems nice."

"She is. I like her a lot. She lives close by."

Small talk. It never seemed so difficult.

"Peeta."

"What?"

"What are you doing on Friday?"

"I'm not sure. We might not be able to get into the building. It's close to the World Trade Center...Why?"

I stand up and face Peeta and start crying. So hard I can barely get any words out.

"I ...want ...to get ...married." I wrap my arms around him and pull him in tight.

"Are you sure?"

"...Yes...I...I...don't want to ...wait …..any..longer. I want... to spend...the rest of...my ...life with...you. Oh, please...say..yes."

"Of course it's yes. But Friday?"

"Yes. I...have ..off...Friday. We can ..get..Judge Nancy or Father...Jack to do...it."

He shakes his head "Yes. Yes. Yes."

"Let's go...tell my mom."

"Katniss."

"What?"

"Get dressed."

* * *

"Mom."

"Yes Hon." She looks at what I'm wearing. "I haven't seen you in that in years."

Peeta and I stand there holding hands. I look at him. He finally starts to speak.

"We're getting married."

"What?"

"We're getting married."

"Oh my God." She hugs me, then Peeta and then both of us together.

"Peeta, you finally asked her."

"No. She asked me." I get a quizzical look, a kiss and another hug.

"Friday."

"What's Friday."

"The wedding day."

"So soon. I don't think..."

"Yes mom. Friday. Can you help us prepare."

"Oh my. Of course I'll help."

* * *

"I'm putting on dinner. Do you want something?"

"Yes. I haven't eaten since breakfast."

"Peeta?"

"Please."

"I asked your Chief over."

"Okay." I think why she asked Chief Emma. My mother has stayed away from anything fire department related since my father died. People, functions, ceremonies, everything. Except for Hazelle. They have a bond. A bond born in grief. They helped each other through the deaths of their husbands. Even fifteen years later they turn to each other when one is down.

"I didn't think she wanted to be alone. Her husband is working and her daughter is at school."

"Good idea."

I go upstairs to use the phone in private.

"Hello Rescue Two."

"Hi. This is Firefighter Everdeen."

"What can I do for you?"

"Has Gale Hawthorne checked in yet?

There is nothing but silence on the line. "Hello, are you there?"

"Yes. Hold on."...

"Captain Ogden."

"Hi Cap. This is Everdeen. One-Seven Truck. Has anyone heard from Gale?"

…. "No. None of his crew has been heard from."

Shit. "Have you been in contact with his wife or mom?"

"Yes. I have them on the list as being contacted."

"Okay. Thanks Cap."

"That about Gale?"

"Yeah." I turn around and see Prim "Prim! When did you get here?"

"Just a few minutes ago." We embrace. It's so good to see her. My little sister is going to Columbia to be a doctor. I don't want to let her go. But I relinquish my hold.

"How was it getting out of the city?"

"Easy getting out. Tough to get back in."

"Are you okay?" She asks.

"For now."

"We watched it on television. I was so worried. I didn't know if you were on duty or not. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Yes. But I'm not ready to talk yet." I really want to talk about it but some of the images I conjure up are too disturbing for me. I don't want to subject anyone else with that. Not Prim, not mom, not Peeta.

"When you're ready I'll be there."

"Thanks Prim."

"Come on. Dinner is ready."

We walk downstairs.

The one thing about families is consistency. You start to know everything about each other. Their rhythms, what makes them tick. How their moods change. Even at the dinner table. Who sits where. While my father was alive. He sat at the top of the table. My mom sat at his left and me at his right. Prim was on my right. The other two seats were for guests. If more were there we would add the leaves.

When Peeta and I got serious he sat on my right and Prim went next to my mother. When I go downstairs I see my mother has changed things. She has seated Peeta at the head of the table.

I don't say a thing. I just walk over and kiss him on the top of his head. The doorbell rings.

"That must be Emma." My mom says.

"I'll get it." I yell out.

I run to the door and open it. I squeeze through and go outside.

"Hi. Before we go inside. Have you heard anything?"

"No good news."

"Shoot. I was hoping to get some news about Gale. No one from his crew has checked in."

"I know." We both stand there silently.

"Come on in."

"Emma, this is my sister Prim. She's in medical school."

"Hi Prim. Where do you go?"

"Columbia."

"Very nice."

"And this is my fiancee Peeta."

"Fiancee? I didn't know you were engaged."

"It just happened."

"Well congratulations."

"Thanks Chief."

"Please sit." She sits at my right.

"So when's the happy event."

"Friday."

"Wow. When you guys make up your mind. You go full force."

"Yeah. I don't want to wait any longer."

I remember the first time he asked me out.

"Hi. Kat...Katniss. If you're... you know...not doing...unless you're busy...well never mind...unless you want to..." I just stared at him. I had no idea what he was talking about. He was just babbling. Not completing any sentences.

My friend Madge finally said "Are you asking Katniss out?"

"Yes."

"Katniss. Peeta is asking you out. Would you like to go?"

"Yes I would."

We went to the movies and had dinner in the food court of the Mall. For the next two years we were inseparable. Dates, parties, Prom. Oh God that tux was ugly. My dress was not so hot either.

I was quiet during dinner. Listening to everyone talk was nice because it kept my mind off Gale and the day I just witnessed. My mom led the conversation. Asking Emma all sorts of questions. Mostly personal. Few about the job. Emma is married to Michael. He is the Captain of Eight-Three engine in The Bronx. He's at the site right now. They have two daughters. Holly is at SUNY Albany and Paige is at SUNY Binghamton. Paige wants to join the department. The live in a big old Victorian on the edge of their village. She bought Micheal an old fire engine for his birthday. It's his retirement project to refurbish it. Wow, when my mom puts her mind to it she can interrogate.

But now she gets to the money question "Aren't you worried about having a loved one and maybe even two of them in such a dangerous job?" I look at Emma to pick up any clues on whether she's uncomfortable answering this. She takes a deep breath ans says "Rose, I never worry. I'm concerned but I trust Micheal. He's very safety conscious. He looks out for his men and himself. They don't take unnecessary risks. Now, can something like today happen? Of course. But the one thing I wouldn't worry about is Katniss. She's always aware of what's going on around her. She and the company watch out for each other and she'll make a fine officer some day."

I'm smiling inside.


	3. Chapter 3 The First Night

After dinner Emma starts to say good night to everyone.  
"Goodnight Prim, It was nice to meet you. Good luck in school"  
"Thanks and it was nice to meet you too."  
"Peeta, congratulations."  
"Thank you."  
"And thank you Rose for dinner."  
"It was my pleasure Emma. You have to bring Michael next time."  
"Katniss, good night."  
"I'll walk you to the door."

"Thank's Emma."  
"For what?"  
"You seemed to calm my mothers mind."  
"I didn't do anything special."  
"She seems to sense something in you. She trusts you."  
"I understand. I'll pick you up at 6am."  
"Yes. Goodnight."

"Peeta, I want us to stay here tonight. We can sleep in my room."  
"Okay. It's only a twin bed. It'll be very cozy."  
"Good."  
He says cozy. I say safe. I don't want to be alone tonight. And being in my old room is familiar.

"Goodnight Mom."  
"Goodnight you two."  
"Goodnight little duck."  
"You haven't called me that in years."  
"The time is right to start using it again."  
"Goodnight Katniss." I hug Prim hard. I don't want to let go but I must.

We go upstairs holding hands. When we get to the top he goes into the bathroom and I go into my bedroom. I look out at the backyard. I remember me and Prim on the swingset we used to have. And the aboveground swimming pool my father would work so hard to get crystal clear. He was obsessed with getting the Ph absolutely perfect. And God forbid a leaf would fall into the pool. Out came the skimmer. I chuckle. It felt good to smile, if only for a few seconds.

I sit on the bed and look around. The history of me is all around. My desk has a pen and pencil set. It was a gift for my middle school graduation. Some old books. On the shelves are some of my trophies. One for softball in seventh grade and one for volleyball in junior year. My five year award for the Panem Volunteer Fire Department is on the wall along with a picture of my dad at a fire scene. I take a closer look at it. It was up here. I recognize the building. It used to be a diner on Main Street. I can also see Gale's father in the background. Oh crap, I'm crying again. I try to resist crying but then I remember what Emma said, I should cry if I want to.

There is a picture of me and Peeta at our prom, on our first date, at Great Adventure on the Flume. That was so much fun. We haven't gone there in a while. What's this, it's a picture of him at my graduation from the academy. He's not smiling, not frowning. He has a look of concern on his face. I guess he has a right to worry.

I look for something to wear to bed. A oversized night shirt with princesses on it is my best choice.

Peeta comes back in. He gets undressed to his boxer briefs and tee shirt. We climb into bed and I pull him close to me. "Why are you so far away? Get closer." I take his tee shirt off and my nightshirt. I want to feel him next to me. If he got me any closer I'd be absorbed into his body. I want to stay like this forever.

_"How did Rescue Two get here so fast from Brooklyn?" I ask as__ I look over and see a tall very handsome firefighter carrying the Hurst spreaders, the Jaws-of-Life. I look at my friend and manage a small wave._

"Aaaaah."  
"Katniss are you alright?"  
"Yes. Go back to sleep."  
He quickly goes back to sleep. I'm soaked with sweat. I put on my nightshirt and go into the bathroom to splash water onto my face. After I dry myself off I crawl back into bed. I can feel Peeta's warmth, I can hear his heartbeat. It's three AM. Two hours til I have to get up.

_I look up"What is that?" "What?" "Up there, falling from the building." "They're bodies." "Oh shit people are jumping out." "Watch out. Lets go."_

I wake up again. Soaked too. Four AM. I may as well get up. I'm not getting any sleep.

I pick out my clothes that I'm going to wear to work and then pack a bag. I think I'll be staying there for a couple of days.

I get into the shower and start to wash my hair. I start to cry and I can't stop. I start to think about Gale. I want to talk to Madge but I don't know what I could say. Maybe I'll call Hazelle first. I finish my shower and get dressed.

I walk into my bedroom and kiss my Peeta. He wakes up and drowsily says good bye. I go downstairs and make myself a mug of tea. I have an hour and a half until Emma picks me up. I don't dare turn on the TV. It will be wall to wall coverage of something I had a front row seat for.

I go into the living room and look through my parents record collection. The Beatles, Stones, Beach Boys. Leslie Gore, probably my Moms. Chicago, Color my World. I put it on. It such a simple song. I think my parents danced to it at their wedding.

I must have woke someone. I hear someone on the stairs. It's my Mom. "Katniss, are you alright?"  
"Yeah Mom. Just couldn't sleep."  
"What are you looking at?"  
"Your wedding album."  
She sits down next to me on the floor and we look through the album together. She points out all the relatives. I haven't seen most of them in years.

Knock, knock, knock. "That must be Emma."  
"Be safe honey."  
"I will Mom"

"Mornin' Chief"  
"Good morning."  
Mom brings us two teas in travel mugs.  
"Thanks."  
"Thank you."

"Your mom is sweet."  
"I think you made a friend Chief."


	4. Chapter 4 Back to Work

When we get to the firehouse I see some new faces. I recognize one. Chloe Vee. Her nickname is Clove. We went through the academy together. We were the only two females in the class. "Hey Clove."

"Katniss, hi."

"Been too long."

"I know."

"Are you here just for the day."

"No. Permanent or at least semi-permanent. Hey after you change, can we talk."

"Yeah. I'll see you in a few."

"I go to the lockers and grab my work clothes and change in the woman's bathroom."

The firehouse is old and the woman's bathroom used to be a men's room. The urinals are still here.

I change and go downstairs. The two chiefs collect everyone to talk to them as a group.

Chief Phillips speaks first. He's Emma's boss.

"Okay everyone listen up. I know it's been hard, but we're going to have to stick together. We've all lost friends yesterday. Talk among yourselves and help each other out."

Emma goes next "And remember that the Chief's doors are always open. Counseling is going to be available. As soon as I have the info I'll pass it along."

She spoke about counseling but most of the guys might not accept the offer. It might show them to be weak. Even if they go they might open up.

"Hey Clove. What's up?"

"Can we talk outside?"

"Let's go."

"What's up?"

"What's it like here?"

"Fine. It's a good group."

"The house I was in before the last one was a nightmare."

Clove had it bad in her first house. There was one guy who kept getting on her back. One day she found a dead mouse in her locker. She retaliated and put a dead rat in his locker. He went after her. His problem was that she is a Marine. She took him easily. And in full view of plenty of witnesses. They shipped him out. Gave her a transfer of her choice and the city settled with her. She used the settlement for a down payment on a condo in Rockland County.

"Don't worry. All the engine bosses are cool and if you have to, see Chief Dever. She has a way of making problems like that disappear."

"Thanks. I've met the chief. She's very nice."

"Were you there yesterday?"

"Yeah."

"Do you mind talking about it?"

"No. Not at all. I want to talk about it but I don't want to burden my mom, sis or Peeta."

"After shift."

"Yeah."

I walk upstairs to see the chief and I hear someone call me "Everdeen; phone."

"Thanks." I grab the phone in the hallway.

I answer the phone "Everdeen."

"Hi honey."

"Nan?"

"Yes. Thank God you're alright... We just got off the phone with your Mom. She told us that you were there yesterday. Are you okay?"

"Yes. Just bruised."

"Mom also told us about you and Peeta. We're so happy."

"Can you make it up?"

"I'm calling the airlines as soon as I get off the phone with you. I'm putting on Pop-Pop now. Bye honey. Be safe"

"Bye Nan."

"Hi Katniss."

"Hi Pop-Pop."

"We saw it on TV. Where were you?"

"North Tower."

"That was the second to come down?"

"Yeah."

"What did you do?"

"Carried a victim down."

"How are you doing."

"Alright physically. I couldn't sleep last night. Nightmares."

"You need to get help."

"I plan to."

"Good. Don't let it fester."

"I won't."

"Alright, let me go. Nan wants to start calling the airlines. We'll see you in a couple of days."

"Bye Pop-Pop. Love you"

I go into the chief's office. I tilt my head into the wall and just tap it gently. The alarm goes off. We're rolling.

Our truck was destroyed in the collapse. We're using a reserve truck. It's older than ours and it's going to take a little time to get used to.

It's a report of a bomb. I have a feeling this is going to become commonplace for the time being. People are on edge and are going to report every single thing that looks remotely suspicious. We don't do much at scenes like this. Our job is to be there if it goes off. The hard work is by the NYPD Bomb Squad. They are part of their Emergency Services Unit. People think it takes balls to go into a burning building but it takes more to approach something that could blow all your limbs off, severely burn you or even kill you in an instant even wearing so much gear it makes you look like a giant turtle.

Nothing was dangerous about the package. It looked like some homeless guy's possessions. We're released and we head back. As we approach the house I can see flowers to the side of our truck bay doors. When we get off the truck we walk over to the flowers and see there are notes attached. Some are thank you notes. Others are child's drawings. There is even a get well card.

Inside our truck bay the engine crew has posted the pictures of the missing and dead from our house. There are eight men not accounted for. Five from the engine crew and three others that were off duty and went there to help.

Looking at them brings tears to my eyes. I know all of them. Some better than others. But still they are all my brothers.

I walk through the truck bay and get to our kitchen. The kitchen in a firehouse is just like the kitchen in most people's homes. It is the social center. When I get there I can see food. A lot of food. "Murph, where did all this come from?"

"People have been dropping off food all morning. Bacon, egg and cheese sandwiches. Backed ziti. Fried chicken and mashed potatoes. And there's more in the fridge. Reminds me of a wake."

I sit and have an egg sandwich.

The Chief comes in and also grabs a sandwich. I ask "Any news?"

"Yes. We'll assemble together sometime this morning. An Assistant Chief is coming by."

"Okay." I don't think this will be good. Assistant Chiefs don't just come by for social visits.

The alarm goes off. Another job. We roll.

This one actually required us to work a little. Smoke coming out of an overheated light ballast. We turned off the electric to the fixture and told them to call the building superintendent.

The Assistant Chief has arrived and we all assemble at the back of the truck bay.

"Yesterday the Fire Department had it's most tragic day. But even with that we still managed to rescue twenty thousand people. Our losses were great. At this point almost Four hundred firefighters are confirmed dead or are still missing. Let's have a moment of silence."

We stand silent for a little while. Our hands clasped and our heads lowered. My thoughts are of Gale.

The Chief starts to speak again. "I also have some more news. Lieutenant Jerry Silvio is being promoted to Captain this Friday. He will be replacing Captain Ed Hogan here at seventeen. The Captain is moving uptown." We nod to Lew and congratulate him. Although he deserves it, no one likes to be promoted because of the death of a fellow firefighter. Next week he will be Cap.

"And another promotion. Battalion Chief Dever will now be Deputy Chief Dever. Congratulation Emma."

"Thanks Bob." She shakes his hand and then everyone else's hand.

"Thank you everyone." The two chiefs leave to go into one of the offices. I couldn't be happier for Emma. She truly deserves it. Unfortunately I won't see as much of her as I'm used to. Even if she is put into the First Division which is the one we're in, the division's quarters is not in this house.

I look at the list and see Gale's name along with rest of Rescue Two. What also catches my attention is that SOC got hit hard. All five rescues and personnel from quite and few squads and, oh no, the Chief of Rescue Operations and the Chief of the Department has died. And the Fire Department Chaplain. I knew and liked Father Judge. He was a kind man. I even see a couple from my graduating class. I put the list back on the board. I can't read any more.

The rest of the day is quite uneventful. A person stuck in an elevator, a trash fire, false alarms, a couple of bomb scares. And then more news. A new schedule. Twenty-four on then twenty-four off. Shoot, that puts me working on my wedding day. I race around looking to trade. The guys are sweet and there are plenty of volunteers. I traded my Friday for tomorrow. So I'll work forty-eight straight hours. I can handle that. Hopefully there will be some down time. I call Peeta but there's no answer. I leave a message.

"Hey Clove, I'm working 'til Friday morning. We can talk now."

"Sure. Let's go upstairs." We grab a couple of sodas and go to a room upstairs we use as a, sorta like a den. It has a sofa, a recliner and a TV.

"You respond on the second alarm?"

"Yeah. We got there pretty fast. It was chaos when we got there. People running all over. Burn victims coming out of the building. Dead bodies right in the lobby."

"The lobby? How?"

"Jet fuel pours down the elevator shafts. Blew out the elevator doors in the lobby. Windows were shattered all over."

"Holy crap. Sounds horrific."

"It was. But what was the worst, were the... the people jumping. Seeing them and then when we were in the lobby hearing them hit the promenade above us. Scared the crap out of me"

"Oh man. What next?"

"We walked up."

"How far?"

"We came across a medical victim on thirty."

"Thirty flights. I don't think I could do that."

"You'd be surprised what you can do when you have to."

"Suppose so."

"I'm told one of the chiefs made it up to the seventy-eighth floor of Tower Two." Clove states. "He found a working elevator to forty something and then ran up."

"That's amazing."

"If you need anyone to talk to just call me. Okay?"

"Okay." We get up and hug and then start downstairs to get some dinner. I'm glad Clove is here. We're about the same age and have the same experience. But being a girl is also welcoming. Being around guys all day long can be taxing. And now I have someone I can talk about this with. Although talking about it brings up images and memories that most people would try to forget. Talking about it seems to help. But I think I'll limit who I talk to about the specifics.

Thank God the evening wasn't busy. I go to our bunk room and try to go to sleep. I'm pretty tired because I didn't get much sleep last night.

_Hey Gale._

_Hi Katniss._

_Hey you want to go hunting with Mr. McEvoy and Phil this weekend?  
_

_Yeah! Thanks. I haven't been hunting since, well, you know._

_Yeah. Me neither. Five AM. Okay?_

_Yeah. No problem. Thanks._

_See ya Saturday._

_Yeah. Saturday._

I wake up suddenly from my dream. It felt so real that it didn't even feel like a dream. My thoughts turn to Madge. I haven't spoken to her yet. I've been putting it off.. I wonder if that's selfish of me. I think my instinct of speaking to Hazelle first was right. I'll call tomorrow her morning.

I attempt to go back to sleep when the alarm goes off. I throw on my pants and shirt and make my way to the brass fire pole. As I slide down I hear it's a call for heavy smoke in an apartment. It's gone ten-seventy-seven. That's a fire in a high rise apartment. My mind starts to operate at another level. What floor it's on? Will we have to walk up? How bad is it? Are there victims? What's my seat assignment? Have I been to this building before? Have we done a walk through of this building? Where are the exits?

* * *

Fire Notes:

Ten-seventy-seven response is five engines, five ladder trucks, three battalion chiefs, one deputy chief, one rescue, one squad, Special Operations Chief, safety officer, field com, Safety Operating Battalion Chief

SOC is Special Operation Command


	5. Chapter 5 Reality

Thursday September 13 2001

The list of missing has shrunk and the list of confirmed dead has risen. Still no Gale. I've lost hope. The last person found alive was removed yesterday morning. No one has since been found alive. They keep on looking. There are hundreds of Police, Fire and EMS personnel down at the pile. Assisted by iron workers and countless volunteers. The National Guard is in New York along with out of town Police Officers. All helping out so the NYPD can look for survivors. There are also Fire Departments from the Island, Jersey and upstate, paid and volunteer, manning houses in the City.

The streets around the firehouse are strangely quiet. No traffic except local residents are allowed below fourteenth street. At this time of the day many pedestrians normally pass by. There are also usually hundreds of cars trying to navigate Manhattan traffic. I miss the honking.

The pile of flowers, letters and cards are growing. All trying to show sympathy and alleviate our grief. I esspecially enjoy looking at the children's drawings. Most of them don't know what is going on. Only that something is wrong.

I dial the phone. I still don't know what to say. She picks up the phone.

"Hello."

"Hazelle, It's Katniss."

"Oh Katniss. Thank God you're okay. I just got off the phone with your mother."

I lean against the wall and slide to the ground. I start to cry.

"Katniss, are you there."

"Yes, I'm here. There is still no news about Gale." It's hard to get the words out through the tears.

"I know honey. It doesn't look good."

"I miss him already."

"I understand."

"How is Madge?"

"Grief stricken. She's staying at her parents."

"I want to talk to her but I don't know what to say. I'm afraid I'll just brake down and make things worse."

"Oh Katniss. You being there can only help. When will you be home?"

"Tomorrow."

"That's right. Your wedding. Good for you two."

"Thanks. I don't want to wait any longer."

"I'll be there, but I don't think Madge will make it."

"I didn't think she could. I'll see her tomorrow. I don't know what time. Peeta and my Mom are making all the arrangements for tomorrow."

"Okay. Just let me know and I'll go over with you to see her."

"I will. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye."

"Bye Katniss. Be safe."

The grief I'm feeling now is unbelievable. I feel like just crawling up in a ball and shutting down. When my dad died I cried and cried but it didn't feel like shutting down. Maybe it's because I'm older. Processing things differently I guess.

"Are you okay?" I look up and see the Chief. I'm glad Emma is the one that has found me. I think less of an explanation will be necessary.

"Just got off the phone with Gale's Mom. It was hard."

"I understand. I have phone calls to make and letters to write. Each one will be just as hard as the other." I didn't think about that. All the officers and chiefs that will have to bring bad news to the families and try to console them.

"Do you want to sit in my office for a while?"

"No. You were right. It's okay to cry."

I make my way downstairs and go to the kitchen. It's past Nine AM and the new shift has come on. There are plenty of hugs going around as the men greet each other. All trying to come to grip with what happened just two days ago.

I walk over to the truck boss and ask him if I could take a nap if he doesn't need me. He obliges. I set the alarm clock for noon. I doubt I'll sleep that long. I'm sure we'll get a call.

"_Come here Gale. Let me check your harness."_

"_Maybe we should recheck the belay line."_

"_The belay is fine, we've checked it already. Let's go."_

"_It's pretty far up."_

"_Jesus H. Christ Gale. It's only five stories up. I can't believe you're afraid of heights."_

"_It's not the height. It's the fall that scares me."_

"_Look, I'll go first." I go over the edge and and repel down the wall. Getting to the ground quickly."_

"_Good work Everdeen." The instructor says as he leans over the roof wall. I remove my main and belay line and they pull it back up to attach them to Gale._

_Gale stands on the top of the wall and starts to lean back. So far so good. When suddenly his feet slip out and he falls against the wall hitting his head._

"_Hawthorne, are you all right?" The instructor asks._

"_Yeah, I think so."_

"_You scratch that helmet, I'll kill you."_

"_Thanks for your concern CatNip."_

"_My pleasure." He straightens himself up and slowly descends. Eventually getting to the ground._

"_Well you finally made it down."_

"_Maybe I'll stick to rigging."_

"_That's a good idea." From then on Gale rigs the lines and I go over the edge_

Beep, beep, beep. The alarm goes off. I look at the clock and it's noon. Wow, I can't believe I got to sleep all morning. That was a pleasant dream. It was when we were taking high angle rope training off the tower at the training center for PVFD. I walk downstairs and see that the truck is gone.

"Hey, where's Seventeen?"

"They had a call. Minor MVA. You can ride with us if we get a call. We're down one."

"Okay Lew."

I go to the kitchen to get something to eat. Hero from Manucci's around the corner. I grab a roast beef and a Pepsi. Umm german potato salad. The phone rings. I answer it.

"Seventeen Truck. Everdeen."

"Hi Katniss."

"Peeta!"

"How's your day going."

"Not bad. Had a job last night. High rise apartment. It was knocked down quickly. Just got up from a nap. How are plans going?"

"Not well."

"What's wrong?"

"Well...Friday's off."

* * *

The belay line is the safety line

The rigger ties the knots and sets the rope systems

MVA is a motor vehicle accident


	6. Chapter 6 The Wedding's Off

**The Wedding's Off**

I go to the kitchen to get something to eat. Hero from Manucci's around the corner. I grab a roast beef and a Pepsi. Umm German potato salad. The phone rings. I answer it.

"Seventeen Truck. Everdeen."

"Hi Katniss."

"Peeta!"

"How's your day going."

"Not bad. Had a job last night. High rise apartment. It was knocked down quickly. Just got up from a nap. How are plans going?"

"Not well."

"What's wrong?"

"Well...Friday's off."

"Oh why?"

"Your Grandma and Grandfather can't get a flight out and my brother can't get one either." I truly want Nan and Pop-Pop to be there. I don't care if Peeta's brother is there. He's a putz and treats Peeta pretty poorly.

"I spoke to my brother on the phone and he was almost in tears at the thought of not making it." Wow, I wouldn't expect that from him. Maybe Tuesday has affected him. Tragedies like this have a way of changing people. Maybe he realizes he better make amends with his family before it's too late.

"Okay, I understand. What day?"

"Next weekend. What day do you have off?"

"Definitely Sunday. I'll try to get Saturday or Monday also."

"What time are you leaving tomorrow?"

"I'm not sure what bus I'll catch. I want to stop at Saint Vincent's Hospital to see Bear first in the Village."

Just as I'm about to have a conversation with the man I will be spending the rest of my life with, the alarm goes off. "Peeta, we have a call, I have to go."

"Okay, be careful. I have things to arrange. Love you. Bye."

"I love you too." I hang up the phone feeling a little disappointed. But it's only a week. Now to the truck.

* * *

The rest my shift was slow. I actually got some sleep. That's good because I'm exhausted. We weren't too busy but I've got so much on my mind. When I leave I say my good bye's. I have forty-eight hours off. I want to sleep and be in Petta's arms for that whole time.

I need to distract my mind. Especially on a bus ride alone for a couple of hours. Barnes and Noble is on Union Square. I'll stop in there and buy a book. The south end of Union Square is fourteenth street. That street is as far south you can get in Manhattan without proving you live below fourteenth street. Southern Manhattan is completely closed off by the city.

Union Square is a large city park surrounded by stores, large and small, restaurants and a lot of traffic. It's always bustling. And today is no different. Barnes and Noble has a large multilevel store there. I go in and it's busy. I don't see the shock on the shopper's faces even though I do overhear conversations about the World Trade Center going on. I move away and avoid them.

I look at the books. I need something distracting. How 'bout the new Harry Potter. It doesn't get more distracting than that. I make my purchase and leave.

After I leave the book store I head through the park to walk to Saint Vincent's Hospital to see Bear. I look at a lamp post. It is filled with home made posters. I look around and I see posters on all the lamp posts and on the fence around the park. I walk closer and I can see they are posters asking for information about a missing loved one. Missing at the World Trade Center. I start to read them.

Missing John Samons Last seen on the 100th floor

I wonder if that's his girlfriend or wife

It says he was a maintenance worker

He worked for a cleaning company

Who put up the poster?

I spin and see another

Missing Ginny Thomas Windows on the World

Looks like her grandchild in the picture with her

She was a hostess

How many grandchildren does she have?

I spin and see another

Missing Anthony Jones

He's a firefighter from a Brooklyn house

He has a beautiful daughter

I spin and see another

Missing James Clap

He looks so young

I spin and see another

Missing John V. Clark

I spin and see another

Missing Craig Win I spin and see another

Missing Edward Happer I spin and see another

Missing Jose Rodriquez I spin and see another Missing Anna Wong I spin and see another

Missing Glenn Riggs I spin Missing Maggie Dodge I spin Missing Lisa Stewart I spin

Missing Keira Bale I spin Missing Lisa Twain I spin Missing Daniel Corso I spin Missing Peter Reis

Missing Jeremy Soon I spin Missing John Keilman I spin Missing Jerome Solamon Ispin

I spin Missing Kevin Canter I spin Missing Christina Middlesex I spin Missinng Bobby Salon I spin

I spin I spin I spin Missing Lisa Rae I spin I spin I spin I spin Missing Charles Downs I spin I spin I spin I spin I spin I spin I spin I spin Missing Gale Hawthorne I spin I spin I spin I spin I spin I spin I spin I spin I spin I spin I spin I spin I spin I spin I spin I spin What was that? Gale Hawthorne.I spin I spin I spin I spin I spin I spin I spin I spin I spin I spin I spin I spin I spin I spin I spin I spin I spin

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHH MAKE THEM STOP!"

* * *

"Hello Katniss. Katniss, can you hear me? Katniss." I look up and see a police officer and two medics. I recognize the medics. They are stationed near our firehouse and we see them often.

"Dannie?"

"Yes Katniss. It's me Dannie. Are you alright? What happened?"

"I don't know. Fainted maybe? I did work forty-eight hours straight."

"Maybe. But the people on the street said you were screaming."

"Officer. We'll take care of her." Her partner John says. "Let's go into the bus and check your vitals. Okay?" Dannie says as she helps me up.

In the ambulance they take my blood pressure, breathing and pulse. All are high. I don't need them to tell me that.

"Where were you going?"

"Saint Vincent's to see Bear."

"Yeah. We heard about Bear. How is he doing?"

"Better, I think. They operated yesterday. I think I can see him this morning. Or at least I can see his wife Maryann."

John says "We'll drive you there. It's only a few blocks over."

"No. That's alright."

"Nah. Come on." John says as they close the door and start to drive west on fourteenth street.

We drive on fourteenth street. To the right people and cars. To the left police and barricades. We get to the hospital and I start to say thanks when I notice it's not the front door but the emergency room. Dannie was tricky. She knew I wouldn't want to go to the hospital ER.

"Come on. Let's go in." I look at her resigned to the fact that I have no excuse for not seeing a doctor. Not at least without raising suspicions.


	7. Chapter 7 Hospital Visit

**At the Hospital**

"Hello … Miss er... Everdeen, I'm Dr. Aurelius, what can we do for you today?"

"I fainted today."

"Yes. The paramedic told me you were also... er... a little disoriented."

"I don't remember. I just woke up and saw Dannie and John."

"All right. Let's check you out. They tell me you're a firefighter. How are you handling what happened Tuesday?"

"I don't know what you mean." I knew exactly what he meant. My eyes are starting to tear. I try not to show it but I can't hold back. The crying starts. The doctor pulls the curtain closed.

"Have you spoken to a anyone about it?"

"The guys at the house."

"No. I mean a professional."

"No not yet."

"You need to. And soon."

The doctor takes my BP, pulse, breathing, temp and whatever could be measured. "Physically you're alright. Take my advice please."

"I will Doc. I will."

I leave the ER and head to the main entrance to see where Bear's room is. "Thomas O'Connell please."

"He's in CCU. No visitors except family."

I sigh. I really wanted to see him. "Can you page someone for me."

"Yes. Sure."

"MaryAnn O'Connell please."

"**MaryAnn O'Connell call Extension One Hundred." **She picks up the phone when it rings.

"You can use that phone there ma'am." I walk over to the phone. "Hello MaryAnn. It's me Katniss."

"Hi. Katniss. Where are you?"

"Downstairs. They won't let me up."

"Yes. They're very restrictive where he is. He's asleep anyway. He came through the operation well."

"Oh I'm happy about that. Can you call the firehouse when he can have visitors."

"Absolutely Katniss. I'll talk to you later."

"Thanks MaryAnn."

* * *

I'm looking at the schedule. Oh shit. Only local buses are scheduled. It's a two hour ride. Well I have a huge book and I can sleep. So what the hell.

I try to read but I can't concentrate. Disturbing images keep on appearing. Bodies falling down. A burn victim.

I decide to nap. I set my alarm on the watch for fifteen minutes before my stop.

* * *

We're still staying at my Mom's house. I like Peeta's place but it's a little too small.

"Hi handsome."

"Hey beautiful."

"Is my Mom home?"

"No she's out." I put my arms around him and pull him close. I don't want to let him go. I start to cry.

"What's wrong babe?"

"No nothing. Just glad to be home. Work is kind of depressing." I release Peeta and he goes into the kitchen.

"Do you want something to eat. I made cinnamon buns."

"Please. That sounds good. I'm going upstairs."

I go into my room and undress. I'm completely nude. I stare at myself in the mirror. Accept for the burn scare I have on my right forearm, I'm quite unremarkable. I received it when I was ten. I was camping with my father and I got too close to the stovepipe and burnt it. It was so painful. I was so ashamed that I got it after being warned by my Dad that I hid it from him. I didn't show anyone until we got home. It was too painful to bare any longer. I showed it to my Mom. As a nurse she knew what to do. Because I didn't treat it right away the scare was more pronounced. I decided never to do anything about the scare. It remains a constant reminder to be careful. Maybe that was why I had always moved cautiously. Why I avoided getting married to Peeta. I know I shouldn't be when it comes to Peeta, but I am. He is the most amazing person I know. He's future husband and my best friend all in one.

_Missing John Samons Last seen on the 100th floor_

_I wonder if that's his girlfriend or wife_

_It says he was a maintenance worker_

_He worked for a cleaning company_

_Who put up the poster?_

_I spin and see another_

_Missing Ginny Thomas Windows on the World_

_Looks like her grandchild in the picture with her_

_She was a hostess_

_How many grandchildren does she have?_

Knock, knock "Katniss?"

"Come on in." Peeta enters the room with the buns and milk. He stands there and stares at me. I had completely forgotten that I was completely nude. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize." He says with a chuckle. Wow, a light moment. A smile comes to my face. I put my arms around him and start to unbutton his shirt. "Let's go to bed."

"Okay. But..." I put my finger on his lips and say "No buts."

He undresses and we get into bed. This is my usual signal that I want to make love or have sex but he is so sensitive to me that he knows I only want to be held. We stare at each other and I trace my fingers over his face. I then turn over and push my butt into him. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me in. We lay there in silence.

_Gale grab my hand!_

_Gale grab my hand!_

_Gale grab my hand!_

_Gale grab my hand!_

_Gale grab my hand!_

_Gale grab my hand!_

I wake. It's still light outside. It's only seven. Peeta is gone. "Peeta?" I don't get an answer. I throw on a tee shirt and my sweat pants. As I leave the room I hear talking downstairs. It's Peeta and my mom. They're talking about me. I sit on the top step.

After a few minutes of listening I've decided that I've had enough and start to walk downstairs. "You know it's impolite to talk about someone behind her back." I put on my sneakers and grab my windbreaker and leave the house.

Peeta comes after me "Katniss wait. Wait." At this point I'm already running. I've always been faster then him. Especially since he has an artificial leg. I know it's not fair but I snapped.

I run to the Panem Firehouse. It's an old firehouse. The apparatus barely fit in the bays. I haven't been here in a couple of weeks. I go upstairs to our bar room. I grab a beer from the fridge. I sit at the bar and turn on the television. Thank God the wall to wall coverage has ended. The TV offers a distraction.

"Kit-Kat." Very few people call me that. Gale and a couple of old-timers. And standing in the doorway is my favorite, Fred Thomas. Fred is in his seventies and a huge man. He's been in the fire service for fifty years. He's been an officer, chief, commissioner and president. Now he tells me he's having more fun than ever. He's just a fireman. He's been my surrogate grandfather ever since Pop-Pop became a snowbird.

"Fred." I reach out and we hug each other.

"How are you doing?"

"Eah. Okay considering." I say trying to hide my issues. "Better than Madge and Hazelle. I have to see them tonight or tomorrow. I don't know if I'm ready."

"You're never ready. I remember when I drove over to speak to Betty Gander after Tommy died. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I'll never forget the look on her face. It's emblazoned in my memory." I sigh and take a deep breath.

"Thanks Fred." We each take our beer and drink.

"I think I need help Fred. Professional help."

"Okay. Get help."

"It's not that easy. Baring your soul to a complete stranger. Speaking your innermost thoughts. Conjuring up images that are best lest hidden. Plus it's different. I'm a girl."

"Look Katniss. Me, your father or your grandfather would never seek help."

"I..."

"No Katniss. Let me finish. You don't have to do it alone like we did in the past. There are people that can help. Just ask for it." I look away. "And as far as you being a girl. That doesn't matter. You're a firefighter."

* * *

Thanks for all your reviews and PMs. They mean a lot.

For all the readers of Detective Mellark from "The Wedding". The sequel will be published after I finish writing Aftermath. Keep an eye out for her. Remember to vote in the poll. See my page.


	8. Chapter 8 Madge

**Madge**

"Mom, can you braid my hair?"

"Sure, honey."

"Hazelle, I'm still not sure what I should say."

"You don't have to say anything. Just be there for her." I nod my head. It's been a week and I haven't seen or spoken to Madge. Hazelle has spoken to her and she understands that I've been at work but more importantly I've also been grieving.

"Thanks Mom." I kiss her and Hazelle. I look at them, two firefighter widows that helped each other through the most tragic times of their lives. Hazelle also carries the burden of now losing a son the same way. She has my Mom.

"Here honey, don't forget the videotape."

"Thanks Mom."

I don't have far to walk. Madge is staying at her parents house. They have lived in that house as long as we lived in ours. Madge and I have been friends forever. She was my first friend, going through grade, middle and high school together. We did go to different colleges but we remained close.

Thirty feet is not far to walk but it feels like thirty miles.

Knock, knock, knock. "Hello Mr. Undersee." I walk in and he gently hugs me and kisses my cheek.

"Katniss, thanks for coming by. How are you doing?" I just shrug. I can't seem to get any words out. I'm starting to tear.

Mrs. Undersee comes into the room and immediately hugs me. It was her hugging me that kept me safe until my mother showed up after my father died. "Madge is in the den, go right in dear."

I walk to the den and push the door open. There is Madge sitting at a small table looking at photos, hundreds of photos of Gale. With her, with me, with his family. "Hi"

"Oh Katniss, hi." She walks over and hugs me. It's a strong hug. I hug her back just as strong. "Oh Madge, you're so big."

"Only two weeks to go." I can see by her eyes she's been crying but she seems very composed. Much more than me. "Here come with me." She takes my hand like we were five and leads me to the table with the photos.

"I'm organizing all the photos of Gale. Panem brought over whatever they found and your Mom went through her albums and sent some over. Here look at these." They are pictures of me and Gale from my college days, my sophomore year when we dated. It's no secret and Madge always knew about it.

"This one is from a party we went to at Pratt with Jo. We really tied one on."

"Yeah. You two look like it." We each manage a small smile and start to look through more photos. There is one from over the summer. Madge, Gale, Me and Peeta. That's when they asked us to be the godparents. "I think this is the last photo of Gale."

"No it's not." I respond.

"What do you have?"

I walk over to the vcr and start to put the tape in. "I saw Gale that morning."

"Where?" Madge asks. She listens intensely to me.

"In the lobby of Tower Two." I pause.

"We saw each other and waved to each other then we went to work." Madge brings her hands to her eyes and wipes some tears away. I start the tape.

"This is the raw news footage from WABC TV. It's a fire from September Tenth. That's me and my partner on the windowsill. Look now."

"Is that Gale on the roof?" She sits at the TV holding her hand over Gales image.

"Yes. He's lowering rope down to me and Bear so we could bale out of that room. We were trapped."

"Thanks Katniss. This means a lot." She rewinds it to see it again. And then again. And then again.


	9. Chapter 9 Therapy

**Therapy**

How do you pick a therapist. You pick a dentist by asking for referrals, but I don't want anyone to know I'm going. I call the number and arrange to see someone downtown. I can see them before or after work.

"Hi I'm Katniss Everdeen."

"Please sit down Miss Everdeen."

"Thank you." I sit on a comfortable couch across from the counselor. He is a man in his early thirties. He is wearing a turtleneck sweater.

"You are a firefighter?"

"Yes." I think to myself that this is probably something he should already know.

"And you were at the World Trade Center on the eleventh?"

"Yes." Why do you think I'm here.

"Tell how you're feeling?"

"I'm having nightmares."

"That's not unusual after a tragic event." I know that. I want you to tell me how to make them stop.

We talk for about forty-five more minutes and I don't think he looked up once from his notepad.

"Well, our time is up. Should we make another appointment?"

"I don't know my schedule. I'll call you."

I walk out of the therapist office thinking that is one hour of my life I'll never get back.

* * *

When I get to the firehouse I say hi to everyone and find Clove. She is all ready for our shift but I drag her into the lady's room to talk while I change.

"I went to the therapist this morning. Have you ever been to one?"

"No. What was it like?"

"A total waste of time. I made no connection with him."

"Maybe try someone else."

"I don't know. I'll see."

"Come on. Let's go." We take the stairs downstairs. We're not going to a call. We're going to a funeral. It's taking place near our firehouse and we're going to stand in line to give our final salute. We all throw our gear in the truck just in case we get a call.

We park the rigs where we can get out easily and move into the line and salute. The hearse is preceded by a teenage boy carrying a helmet and flanked by firefighters acting as pallbearers. Normally the body would be on an engine acting as a caisson, but I have the feeling that there are so many funerals that one wasn't available. I didn't know this firefighter but it doesn't matter. We are all one.

As we are about to leave we get a call. We mount up and with sirens blaring take off.

The call is for a series of abandoned buildings with a smoke condition. Today I am the OV and my partner is Jonesie, the roof. We're second due and I ask for my instructions. "Go to the building on the two side and do a search. Someone said they're might be squatters in it."

I follow Jonsie and I see that Clove is unassigned. We report that we're taking her along. We enter the building.

The building is an tenement building that had been converted into a building that housed small manufacturing companies at one time. Very little sunlight makes it inside because most of the windows have been boarded up. We walk upstairs calling out on each floor to see if anyone is inside. We get to the sixth floor and see that people are living there. There are walls and personal belongings.

"Seventeen OV to Command."

"Command is on."

"We're on the sixth floor. We're searching the floor. There is a light smoke condition up here. K."

"Ten-four."

"Let's search these rooms. Clove wait here." Jonsie instructs. Clove stays in the doorway as we enter the series of rooms. "See anything?"

I respond "No."

"Let's move on."

"Did you feel that?" I call out.

"What?"

"It felt like the building shook."

"**Clove we're getting out!"** Jonsie yells out. "Seventeen roof to command. We're getting out. Building is unstable. K."

"Ten-four."

It was amazing how fast it happened but the floor collapsed at the rear of the building and we tumbled towards the back wall. When I stopped falling I tried to get my bearings and look for my partners. **"Jonsie, Clove! Are you there?" **Clove responded and started to crawl towards me. "I don't see Jonsie." She says.

"Mayday. Mayday." I call into the radio.

"All radio traffic stop. Go mayday go."

"This is Seventeen OV and Eleven Control. We've had a floor collapse and lost Seventeen Roof. We're on the fifth floor. I think on the three side. K"

"Can you make it out?"

"Unknown. We have to find the member." beep. beep. beep. beep. beep. beep. **beep. beep.** **beep. beep. beep. beep. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.**

That is his pass alarm. When a firefighter is motionless it goes off and gets louder over time. We follow the sound. It's coming from under the debris. We start to dig him out. Clove screams."I found him. He's unconscious."

"Seventeen OV to Command. We've found Seventeen Roof. He's unconscious. We're packaging him for removal. We may need help."

"Ten-four. Are you still on the fifth floor?"

"Ten-four." Clove unhooks his waist strap and puts it between his legs. The good thing about firefighters is we have handles. We grab his shoulder straps and start to drag him towards the stairs. "We're dragging..." Without notice this floor now collapses. We tumble to the opposite side of the building this time. We both have enough sense and strength to hold on to Jonsie's SCBA straps so we all stay together. When we come to a stop we're all covered in crap. "Are you alright?" I ask Clove.

"Yeah barely. If this keeps on happening we won't have to carry him down."

"I have a bigger worry. All that shit that's hanging above us. Seventeen OV. We've had another collapse. I think we're on the fourth floor, number one side."

"We're raising a ladder. Can you signal which window you're near." Clove starts kicking the boarded up window. The plywood starts to come away.

"We see you." Clove backs off. "Back away." I hear a saw being started.

"We're clear." The K12 saw easily cuts through the boarded up window giving up an escape route.

A firefighter pokes his head in. "Ladies, your chariot awaits."

Clove responds "Thanks brothers. We have a down member." Clove and I drag Jonsie to the window and with the help of the truckie in the bucket we haul him into the bucket. Clove goes next. I grab onto the bucket rail when the floor goes out from under me.

** "Shit! Help me in."** The air horn starts blasting three shots. That means evacuate. I think the building is about to come down. The bucket starts to pull away. No the bucket is still. The building is collapsing inward and part of my body is still inside being dragged backward. I try to pull myself up but I don't have the strength. I'm slipping. I feel a tug at the top of my pants and I'm pulled out of the building.

**"Go. Go. Go."** Is the command from the firefighter who has me. The tower ladder starts to pull away from the building with me hanging on the outside. It swings away fast and I can now see the building start to crumble. It doesn't go in one large motion. But in smaller slower, smaller motions. Nothing like the building demolitions we see on television.

We get as close to the ground as possible. "Let go." Someone tells me from below. I release my grip in fall a short distance to a couple of firefighters. "Thanks guys." I smile and they smile back. Clove makes her way off the ladder as they start to assess Jonesie.

"How is he?"

"He started to wake up as I was walking away. He'll be sore in the morning. Ya know. I think I'll stay with the hose from now on." We make our way over to the bus to get examined.

While in the ambulance Chief Emma looks in. "Miss Vee, are you alright?"

"Bumped and bruised."

"And you Mrs. Mellark?"

"Also bruised. But not Mrs. yet."

"What happened?"

"We put it off 'til Sunday? Chief, if you can make it I'd like you there. You too Clove. And bring a guest if you want."

The Chief responds "I'd love to."

"Clove?"

"I think so also."

"Good."

"You know Kat, you've used up three of your nine lives this week."

"I know Chief." I don't know how long my luck is going to hold out.

* * *

Fire Jargon

For a full glossary see FireGirl chapter 6

On an engine company there are four positions nozzle, backup, doorman and control. The nozzle and the backup are at the nozzle. The doorman is one room behind feeding the hose line. The control firefighter is the fourth person. They pull enough hose to reach the fire. They control the amount of line.

The front of the building is the one side and you go clockwise. The left side is the two, rear is the three and the right is the four. Some departments use A,B,C and D


	10. Chapter 10 The Site

"Everdeen, you have a visitor."

"I wonder who that is?" Clove just shrugs.

I walk out to the truck bay and suddenly I can feel a smile a mile wide come across my face. "Pop Pop!" I run to my grandfather with open arms. "Why didn't you call and say you were coming."

"It was a last minute decision at the airport. Your grandmother and I spoke about it while we were waiting for your mother. Mom took Nan home and I took a cab here. I hope you don't mind."

"Are you kidding. Let me introduce you to the crew." I bring my grandfather to the kitchen. "Everyone, this is my grandfather, Chief Frank Everdeen." I introduce him to each member. "...And this is Clove."

"Clove?"

"It's a nickname Chief."

"Excuse me Captain, would you mind if I spent the night here?"

"Not at all Chief. I think we can find an empty bunk for you."

'Thank you Cap." He looks at me. "Katniss, could we go to the World Trade Center tomorrow?" I hesitate. "If you don't mind."

"Of course Pop. I haven't been there yet. I should go." I have avoided thinking about going. I have been having nightmares about that day and Gale and i thought i might not be able to handle it. With my Pop by my side I think I can do it.

We had a few calls overnight and the Battalion Chief let my Grandfather tag along. Even gave him a coat and a white helmet. He enjoyed himself. They live in a community in Florida with a paid fire department so he doesn't get to hang out in the firehouse like he would if they were a volunteer department.

* * *

At the end of my shift I ask if anyone else wants to go. Many do. They send a van to pick us up. We're going down to work. To sift through the rubble looking for remains.

We get to the corner of Church and Vesey first. We can see the burnt out remains of Building number Four and Five. They were smaller building on the east side of the center. I can also see the Deutsche Bank Building on Liberty Street. It has a large chunk taken out of it. The South Tower must have collapsed into it.

We walk to Ten House on Liberty Street. It is the quarters of Ten Truck and Ten Engine. They were first due companies to the Trade Center. It somehow survived. We check in and receive instructions.

As we walk to West Street I notice that a small Greek Orthodox Church that was on West Street is gone. Crushed.

We continue to walk to West Street and meet with the Chief and are given jobs to do. I and my Grandfather are assigned to an area to search. We are working next to ironworkers. We search an area then the ironworkers start the work of cutting the steel and lifting it out of the way. Then we move in to search the next area. I f you think you find something you call over an officer to inspect it. If it's a body part we take care to dig it out. The fires are still burning and combined with decomposing bodies make for an awful smell.

We spend the next six hours sifting through the ruins. Every once in a while I feel like crying. I beat back the tears each time.

* * *

_Hey Catnip. What are you doing here?_

_I'm joining today. Me, my Mom and my Grandfather are having the interview withe the Chiefs._

_Your Mom is going to let you join?_

_Yeah. Your Mom let you join when you were sixteen. Why shouldn't mine?_

_Well, you know. You're a ... you know..._

_What a girl. Ya know asshole girls can join._

_I know, I know. I just thought your Mom might not let you join because of your dad._

_It took a lot of begging but she came around. I think your Mom helped out.  
_

_Katniss, we're ready for you._

_Wish me luck._

_Good luck._

* * *

It's difficult work but necessary. Delivering remains back is important; it brings closure to the families. I have a feeling that quite a lot of people will never be found. Especially in the footprints of the towers. The force of the collapse was so great that most were crushed into dust. One reason I think this is that there is nothing but concrete and steel. There are no telephones, no furniture, no computers, nothing.

"Doing okay Pop Pop?"

"Yup. How 'bout you?"

"Fine." For now. Although I feel good about helping out. I'm having trouble keeping the tears in. I don't want to break down here.

* * *

Clove comes over. "It's quitting time guys."

"Thanks Clove." I grab my Grandfather's hand and start to walk off the pile. You can get hurt just walking around. I'm sure there are plenty of bumps, bruises and a few broken bones.

On our drive home we're pretty quiet. You'd think that two people that haven't seen each other for a while would have something to say to each other.

I decide to start "So Pop. Was it your idea or Mom's."

"What idea?"

"To go to the site." He chuckles.

"It was Nan's."

I smile and nod. "Sneaky. Very sneaky. I didn't think she had it in her."

"You'd be surprised what your grandmother was capable of. One day I'll tell you how she got me to marry her."

Uuhh, I don't know if I want to hear that story. What happens if my Pop Pop knocked up my Nan? Oh I can't even think of it.

"Yeah Pop. Maybe some day you'll tell me." I change the subject. "I'm so happy you're going to be here for my wedding. You're giving me away."

"Yup. I even brought my tux. It might be a little snug. It's been a while."

"You'll be fine. You're why my Dad was so handsome."

"He was a good looking guy. The first time he brought your Mom around we knew it was true love. The way they just looked at each other."

"Oh Jesus Pop. I promised I wouldn't cry today. Now you've done it." I guess seeing my grandfather, working at the site, thinking about Gale and now the memories of my father have finally gotten to me. The water works start.

"Oh honey I'm sorry. Do you want to stop?"

"No. We're almost home. I'll make it."

We make it home and waiting inside are the most important people in my life. And in five short days I will marry the man of my dreams.

We walk up the steps and Peeta comes out. "Hi Kat." We embrace and kiss. "Mr. Everdeen, how are you."

"Congratulations. Welcome to the family."

"Thank you sir." My Grandfather gives him a giant hug before going inside. "Katniss, stay outside for a second."

"Okay." Shit Peeta sounds so serious. I hope to God nothings wrong.

He leads me over to the bench on the side of the porch and sits me down. "Katniss, I love how you proposed to me. Now it's my turn." He gets up and then down on one knee. "Katniss Iris Everdeen, will you marry me?"

I start to cry "Yes. I will marry you." He then pulls out a ring. It's silver with a beautiful diamond. And it looks familiar. "Peeta it's beautiful. Where did you get it?"

"It's your Mom's. I was going to shop for a ring but your Mom insisted."

"That's why it looks familiar." And it's white gold, not silver.


	11. Chapter 11 Peeta and Katniss Forever

**Katniss and Peeta Forever**

"I hope I'll be as beautiful when I get married, Kat."

"You will be Prim." I stare at myself in the mirror. I'm wearing a plain white cotton dress. It's pure white with straps. Prim is in a matching style but in beige. She's holding three bouquets of flowers. One for her and one for me and one for Madge.

"Are you ready?" My maid-of-honor and best friend Madge asks. Madge at eight and one half months pregnant and grieving the loss of her husband asked to be my maid-of-honor. A roll she would have played in a more normal time.

Prim walks out of the back room of the American Legion Hall first, then Madge. I take my Pop Pop's arm and we walk out to the sound of the wedding march played by the eighty year old organist we borrowed from the Episcopal Church. At the front of the hall is Peeta and his best man, his Father.

Peeta and his Father have a wonderful relationship. Peeta worked for his Father in the bakery all through high school and during the summers while in college. Peeta thought he might take over the bakery until his junior year when he declared his major and decided to go to law school. His Father was prepared for him to take over the bakery or any other career he might choose.

Peeta and his Father are dressed in black pants and a plain white shirt. No tie, open collar. Even from this distance I can see his deep blue eyes. He smiles and I smile back. I tighten my grasp on my grandfather's arm and we walk down the aisle. I look forward and from the corner's of my eyes I can see the cameras snap pictures. I think that one day I will be my Mom's age and I will show these pictures to our children.

We reach the front and I face my Grandfather, we embrace and kiss. He shakes Peeta's hand and sits. Madge then kisses Peeta and then hugs and kisses me. She can't stand for the whole ceremony so she sits down next to her Mom and Dad and Hazelle. The Undersee's have been our next door neighbors since my parents bought the house I grew up in and my Mom still lives in. Right behind them are all of Gale's brothers and sister. Prim and I became close to them after the deaths of our fathers.

I grab Peeta's hand and we turn to face Father Jack. He starts the ceremony.

* * *

"I, Peeta, take you, Katniss, to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and honor you all the days of my life."

"I, Katniss, take you, Peeta, for my lawful husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part."

Peeta's Dad hands my ring to the priest and he blesses it. Peeta then places it on my finger. Prim hands Peeta's ring to the priest who blesses it and Peeta puts it on my finger.

We say together "I take this ring as a sign of my love and faithfulness in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit."

After a final prayer Father Jack says "Go in peace with Christ," to which everybody responds, "Thanks be to God."

We are now husband and wife.

* * *

After the ceremony we go outside and pose for photos. Most of the men attending head for the bar and the women present follow us out with the cameras. We didn't hire a photographer so we will just depend on the group of friends to put together our photo album. Prim's date agreed to videotape the ceremony and the reception.

We take the photos in a small garden that is next to the baseball field. The guys playing a game of softball stop and walk over to watch. We know most of them from the neighborhood and school. The shout congratulations before heading to the keg for a refill.

Today's weather is perfect. I think that after the turmoil of the last two weeks this is a welcome respite. I and Peeta pose. Then with my Mom then with his parents. Every combination of family members possible is done. We end the photo session with me and Peeta. I can't keep my eyes off him. I throw my arms around him and give him a big kiss. I hear the oohs and ahhs of our friends. I can feel myself blush as I bury my face in Peeta's chest. When I pull my face out I grab his arm and tug him to go inside.

* * *

At this point the hall has been transformed from all seats for the ceremony to tables and chairs for the reception. The Legion has done a wonderful job for us given the short notice. Everyone chipped in. We live in a small town where everyone knows everyone else. There seemed to be an enthusiasm for this wedding as a way to push other things that are on your mind to the side for a couple of hours.

All the men filter back from the bar carrying their drinks and the shutter opens for the bar in the hall. The nice thing about being a bride you get to go to the front of the line. I look at the bartender. He is a member of the PVFD and he reaches over the bar to hug me. He is the sort of person that I've known for so long he would say "I've known you since you were this big." As he held out his hand at waist level.

"Beer please."

"It's hard to believe you're old enough for this beer. I remember when you were only this big." I smile. It's good to know some things never change.

He puts a Bud in front of me. No fancy imports here. If you want a Heineken you have to pay for it at the bar.  
"Thank you." I say with a smile. I grab Peeta's arm as we mingle around the room accepting congratulations and envelopes from our guests. I am so happy I don't think I will ever surpass this moment in happiness.  
It's good to see Chief Emma and her husband Captain Mike. And also Clove and her very handsome date. And Maryann and Bear. I go over to them. "Maryann, Bear, I'm so glad you made it." Bear has lost a ton of weight since the heart attack. I'm sure that's for the better but I just can't get used to him looking so thin. I'm used to the big burly man who I've come to depend on in the most serious of situations. "Bear, how are you?"

"Better. I've never felt so good."

"Good. You look great."

"You're too kind. I look like shit. But I do feel good. You look beautiful." He hugs me and the memories of that day come back. Not the overwhelming ones of the towers but being on the street with a fallen comrade.

"Thanks. And I expect to have a dance later."

"I wouldn't miss it."

* * *

"Hey Clove. Whose the hunk."

"Kat, that is my boyfriend Cato." She waves Cato over.

"Nice to meet you Cato."

"Congratulations Katniss."

"Honey, could you get me a drink?"

"Sure." Cato gives Clove a kiss and walks to the bar.

"Oh my God Clove he's gorgeous. Not Peeta gorgeous, but gorgeous."

"I'll let you have that but just for today." She says with a smirk.

"And that accent. Is he from England?"

"Yup. I met him on the job. I responded to his office and saw him. Next thing I know he tracked me down and asked me out. That was six months ago."

"Is it serious?"

"I hope so."

"Geez Clove. you can bring him around anytime you want. Oh, when things settle down we'll double date."

"Oh I don't know Kat. I don't think I can trust you around him." We both laugh hysterically.

* * *

"Emma. Thank you for coming." I say to my Chief. My favorite Chief.

"Thanks Kat. This is my husband Mike."

"Mike, thanks for coming. Eight-three engine. right." Captain Mike is a big and handsome man. They make a perfect couple.

"Yup."

"It's a busy company."

"Very."

"Okay. That's enough shop talk for today." Emma interrupts.

"Your right. We'll leave that for next week." I say as I raise my beer to them.

* * *

Our DJ stops the music "Ladies and Gentlemen. Let me introduce for the first time Mr. and Mrs. Peeta and Katniss Mellark." Everyone cheers and we walk up to dance for the first time. I put my arms around his neck and we stare into each others eyes. "Our happy couple wants to invite all of their friends to join them on the dance floor."  
I see Peeta's parents dancing, Prim and her date and my Mom. My Mom is dancing with Mr. Lancer. I didn't even know he was here. I really don't know him that well. I guess he's with someone. Wait, he's dancing with my Mom. Does my Mom have a boyfriend. After our dance I kiss Peeta and tell him that i'm going to see my Mom.

"Mom."

"Oh come here honey. I'm so happy for you." She puts her arms around me.

"Thanks Mom. I saw you dancing with Mr. Lancer. Is he with you today?"

"Yes dear. Jeff is my date." My Mom has dated a little since my Dad died but it never seemed to blossom into anything. I don't know if she felt she was betraying my Father or didn't want to subject her girls into trying to accept a stepfather.

"Are you dating him?"

"Yes."

"For how long?"

"Six months."

"Six months! How come you haven't said anything?" I say sounding like I'm the grown up here.

"Oh Katniss. I never knew who you were dating sometimes." I nod and shake my head.

"I guess you're right Mom. Do you like him?"

"Of course I like him. I've been with him for six months."

"You know what I mean. Do you LIKE him?" I say trying to pry information from her.

"Maybe." I think her response means YES.

I'm all smiles inside. She has been alone way too long. Everything she has done has been for me and Prim. Now it's her turn. "I'm happy for you Mom." I hug her. "If you get married can I give you away."

"Oh Katniss stop it." I can see her blushing. It's so cute.

* * *

By the time the reception is over I'm exhausted. I find Peeta so we can say our good byes and leave for our first night together.

After the good byes we get into the car for the ride up to the bed and breakfast in the Catskills for our wedding night. "Are you ready?" Peeta asks. I nod yes. "Did you have a good time?" That's an absurd question to ask the bride. I just laugh at the question.

"Yes. Yes I did. Thanks for inviting me." Peeta chuckles. "Wow. I can't believe Jo caught the bouquet. She is a committed bachelorette."

"Who knows. People change." And that they do. Look at me. I have changed so much in just less twelve days.

* * *

A/N: I am sorry for not updating sooner. I have been busy at work and I had three stories going at once. I decided to complete "Emma's Games" first. I did that and now I can concentrate on "Baby" and "Aftermath. Thanks for your understanding.


	12. Chapter 12 B&B

**B&B**

We leave for the Catskills in the late afternoon. It is a beautiful day. Cool, almost fall. The trees will be turning soon. We will spend our wedding night in a small bed and breakfast. We only have two nights together. No sightseeing, no antiquing, no touristy stuff. Maybe when we come up for air we'll go to a restaurant. Maybe.

It's a couple of hours to get there. We chat but I'm kinda tired and I am just enjoying the scenery as I relax.

We pull into the village and it is filled with bars, restaurants, antique shops and small boutiques. But it's our hotel on the edge of town that I'm looking forward to. Peeta and I have mostly lived together for the past couple of years but it just seems different to be with him as his wife. We are now bonded. Coupled permanently.

Peeta checks us in as I look around. The B&B is in an old Victorian house. It was probably the summer home of some rich industrialist from the City in the 1800s. The furnishing fit the building. The chairs, sofas and tables look like they are from before the last century or are good reproductions. White lace doilies are everywhere. I smile because they remind me of my old aunt's house I used to visit as a kid. Her house was warm and inviting just like this place.

Peeta is finished checking in and he grabs our bag. We're on the second floor. There is an old elevator hidden behind a door. It looks one hundred years old. I feel safer walking up the stairs.

We open the door to a sitting room with the bedroom off to the side. There is a door that opens up to a terrace overlooking a backyard that slopes downhill exposing a wide valley. It is a view worthy of a painting from the Hudson Valley School.

I open the door and breath in the fresh mountain air. It is invigorating. While I was tired and sleepy in the car, now I am full of energy.

"I think I'll take a shower." Peeta says as he takes off the plain black pants and white shirt he wore for the wedding."

"Okay." I say as I lay down on the very soft mattress. It seems to have a down topper. I sink right in. It's smaller than our bed at home. We'll sleep close tonight. It will be cozy. When Peeta gets undressed to only his briefs I have a chance to see his body. Of course this isn't the first time I've seen it but he is in such good shape that I can't help to be lucky to have him physically not just emotionally. Though I still have a pang of sadness about his leg.

I hear him turn on the water and get in. I walk over to the framed full length mirror and look at myself. I grab the straps of my dress and move them out over my shoulder. They fall down and my dress falls to the floor. I remove my bra and my panties and just look at myself completely naked. I take a deep breath and go into the bathroom. I pick behind the curtain.

"Hello Mrs. Mellark." Wow, I'm Mrs. Mellark. I giggle.

"Hello Mr. Mellark. May I join you?"

"Please do." I step in and let the warm water pour over me. Peeta puts his hands on my shoulders and moves down my arms. When he reaches my hands he takes them up to his face and kisses them and rubs them against his face. He takes his hand next and caresses my cheek. At the same time we grab each other's neck and pull ourselves closer to each other. Our lips connect and he puts his arms around my waist and lifts me up to him. He pulls me close. My breasts press against his chest. I move myself across his chest and I can feel my breasts fill with blood. I can feel myself getting lightheaded.

I can feel he has gotten hard when I press myself against him. I am now wet inside as well as outside. I pull away and grab his hands and get out of the shower. Peeta turns it off and grabs these plush white cotton towels. He starts to dry me off. I don't know how he does it but his hands are both gentle and firm. I'm so relaxed I sigh. I turn around and take Peeta by the hand and lead him to bedroom.

I close the terrace door and pull the curtains and walk to the bed. He is already laying down and I crawl on top of him. I trace his face with my hands. "Penny for your thoughts." I say.

"Oh God. Where do I start. Let's see. I got married to the prettiest girl in town."

"Oh stop it." I insist as I lay my head on his chest. It's so comforting here with Peeta. I try to think just about us and not think of work, Gale, Madge or anything else about that tragic day but thoughts keep creeping back in. I lift up my head and shake it.

"Why are you crying?" Peeta asks.

"Oh they're just happy tears." He pulls me close. I guess I'm lying but I wouldn't tell him that. This is also his day. Not just mine. He rolls me over and kisses me. Deeply and passionately. Oh, he makes me feel like I'm the only other person in the world. He rolls me over and we make love for the first time as husband and wife.

* * *

We both drift off to sleep and when I wake up I get up to close one of the windows. It gets so cold in the mountains at night. Even in the early fall. I walk back to the bed and sit on the edge of the bed and stare at Peeta. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. I guess I'm trying to will myself into forgetting the recent past. Okay, here we go. First, I'm married to the man of my dreams. Second, we will live the rest of our lives together. Third, we'll have children and raise a family. Wait. Children?

Umm. Children. We've never spoken about raising a family. I don't even know whether he wants kids. Oh, I'm sure he does. Why wouldn't he. I've seen him around children and he loves them. Yes, I'm sure he wants kids. Hey, what about me? I've never given it any thought. I never had to before we got married. But now I have to. But do I want children. I love my job and I'm studying for the lieutenant's exam. I'd have to take a maternity leave if I got pregnant. But even if I went back after how would we raise a child with both of us working. What am I talking about. Families all over have both parents working. My parents did it. So did Peeta's. But just because we can doesn't mean we should.

That would mean quitting work. Oh I love being a firefighter. I can't imagine not being one. But being a full time stay at home mom. Umm, something to think about. But later. Right now I'm going to ravish my new husband. "Wake up you and prepare to be ravished!"


	13. Chapter 13 Blackout

We roll up to a commercial building that has a heavy smoke condition. I am the roof and along with the outside vent we're going to open any scuttles or skylights to let out the smoke and if I have to, cut a hole in the roof with the saw. The building looks familiar but I don't remember ever having a job here.

The ladder is raised and I start to climb. It's a three story building and when I get to the top I sound the roof to make sure it's safe, I pound on it with my hook. I turn around to tell my partner. It's Clove. It shouldn't be Clove. She should be in the building with the engine crew on the hose.

"Go, go!" She yells to me. I'm frozen at the top of the ladder. Something isn't right. "What's wrong? Let's go!" She yells again. I look onto the roof and I see two firefighters. Wait, how can that be. We're first due. I should be the first one up here.

One of the firefighters turns around and looks at me. "Come on honey. Let's go."

Oh, it can't be! No! "Dad! Come here! Get off the roof!"

"Why? It's safe." He pounds his hook into the roof. "See." Just then there is an explosion and the roof swallows up the two of them.

* * *

I wake and my heart is pounding. I look over at the bed next to me and I see Clove. Sound asleep. I'm soaked with sweat. It's been four weeks since September Eleventh and the nightmares haven't subsided. I grab a change of clothing and head for the bathroom to change. I wash my face with cold water. The circles around my eyes are becoming more pronounced. I'm not getting enough sleep.

As I change I think about my therapy. I've had four sessions with three therapist. They aren't helping. Why isn't it working? Is it me? Is it them? I have to do something or I'll go insane.

"Hey, you alright?" Cloves asks.

"No. Another nightmare." Clove and my Grandfather are the only ones I have been able to open up to. Unfortunately my Pop Pop has gone back home to Florida. Clove has done her best to listen but she isn't a professional and she is only a shoulder to cry on. Plus it's not fair to burden her with this.

"How's things going with Cato?" I change the subject. Hopefully it's going well. It'll take my mind off things.

"Oh great. We're going away for a long weekend next week. Up to Maine. We'll have 'lobsta'" We both laugh at her crappy New England accent.

"I'm going downstairs, wanna come?" She asks.

"May as well. It's already six." We go into the kitchen and take out stuff for breakfast. "How 'bout pancakes this morning?" We check that we have all the ingredients and start to cook for twelve hungry fireman and two dainty firegirls.

Just before we put the pancakes on the alarm sounds. Smoke on the sixth floor. Oh jeez. The sixth story of a walk up again. Doesn't anybody start fires on the first floor?

We get in our gear and head for our apparatus. Me to the truck and Clove to the engine. "See you there." I call out to her as I mount the ladder truck.

On this shift I am part of the inside team, the can-man. Along with the water fire extinguisher I carry a six foot hook. When we get to the building there is smoke coming out of the window of an apartment on the sixth floor. The chief transmits a ten-seventy-five which signals a working fire and brings additional help.

After climbing the stairs to the sixth floor we come across a number of tenants on the landing. "The fire is in there!" They point to an apartment.

"Do you know if anybody is home?" We ask. They don't know. "Close your doors and go downstairs." We tell them.

Cap tries the door and it is locked. Murph takes his halligan and jams it between the door and the jam. I take the flat-head ax. "Hit." Murph calls out. I hit the end of the halligan with my ax driving it deeper. "Hit." He calls out again. It goes deeper. "Once more." I hit it a third time and Murph pushes the halligan forward forcing the door open. The smoke pours out. Murph pulls the door so it is almost closed. We put on our face pieces and enter the apartment. As we enter I can hear the engine crew right behind us.

We enter the apartment and there is next to no visibility. Our job is to find the fire, confine it, darken it down if possible, vent the room, search for victims and rescue them.

Cap starts to go down the hall and we pass the kitchen on our left. The fire is in there. I shoot at the fire which is on the counter with my extinguisher. That creates a lot of white steam. This is good. It displaces the oxygen in the room and helps things from getting worse. I reach and I can feel there is a door. It's blocked by a table and chairs. I grab a chair and push it out of the way. Then I move the table. This frees the door and I close it. Cap and Murph have gone deeper into the apartment to search. I travel further down the hallway and call out for them. "Murph, Cap!"I don't get a response. I call on the radio. "Truck One-Seven, Truck One-Seven Irons!" Shit, where are they? I'll try one more time. If I don't here from them I'll call a mayday.

* * *

I wake up with an EMT looking at me. I have an O2 mask on my face and he is taking my BP. "How are you feeling?" He asks.

"Okay, I guess. What happened?"

"I don't know. They dragged you out. You seem fine though. BP okay, breathing, pulse ox, all okay. Wait here." He leaves the bus and goes outside. I can see him talking to Cap, the battalion chief and the deputy. Cap comes in.

"Hey. Do you remember what happened in there?"

"No. Tell me." I'm afraid of the answer.

"You were frozen. Not blacked out, just unresponsive. Me and Murph dragged you out. They're taking you to the hospital now."

"Okay. How'd the fire go?"

"Piece of cake. No victims. They put it out as soon a they got water on it. Started in a coffee maker that overheated. You feel better."

"Okay." That didn't answer anything. What happened to me?

* * *

We get to the hospital and they run a battery of tests. Blood, urine, EKG, breathing.

The doctor comes in with the Deputy Chief. It's Emma. "Well, we've finished. We can't find any reason for your blackout. What is the last thing you remember before you woke up in the ambulance?"

"I was calling for Murph and the Captain. I was about to try one more time before calling a mayday. Then I woke up in the ambulance."

"Okay. You rest. We're going to run a few more tests and keep you overnight for observation." He leaves.

Emma is still in the room. She is looking at me. I think she is trying to figure out how to tell me something. Knowing her she will not beat around the bush. She'll just come out and tell me.

"I'm putting you on medical leave." I was right. Straight to the point.

"But, Chief I feel..." I don't get a chance to finish.

"I'm not here to negotiate with you. This is an order." I'm sure she can see the disappointment in my face as I look at the ceiling and push my head deeper into the pillow. She walks over and closes the door. "Katniss. Have you been to the therapist?"

"Yes, but it doesn't seem to be helping. I'm still having nightmares."

"Are you getting enough sleep?"

"I don't think so." I start to tear up. She told me it's okay to cry. "Emma, you have your Phd in psychology, why don't I see you." This would be perfect. She is a firefighter, she'll understand what I'm going through.

She takes a deep breath "Not a good idea."

"Why not?" I immediately counter.

"Alright. Yes I have my Phd, but I'm not a trained counselor. Also, I couldn't keep your confidence. I am your boss and I'd have to report anything you would tell me." She pauses. "I have a better idea. Call this therapist. I know her. She lives near us at home and I trust her. I think she'll be able to help you." Emma writes down her name and phone number from memory. They must know each other well. "Will you?" I nod my head yes. "Good, I'll call her and tell her to expect your call. Have you called Peeta yet?"

"No. I need to do that now."

"Okay. I'm going. Let me know how it goes with Eleanor. Okay?"

"Okay." I look at the name. Eleanor Menton. I bet you Emma has used her. Well, if she helped her maybe she'll help me.


	14. Chapter 14 Number Four

**Number Four**

I haven't had any success with the the three therapist I have seen already, so why am I seeing a fourth one. Simply put, it was an order. It's bad enough that I'm working in the division offices doing paperwork and driving the deputy chief around but now I have to spend an hour trying to figure me out.

This only positive thing this person has going for her is that she was personally recommended by Chief Emma. I trust her.

My appointment is for 10 AM. I'm a few minutes early. I walk into the building and look at the directory. Um, Eleanor Menton, second floor. I walk up the one flight and find her door. I enter a waiting room. There are toys in the corner. For young patients or to occupy them while a parent is inside? The posters on the wall are what I would expect. Mostly mental health related. "Understanding anti-depressants" , "What is Bipolar?" There are magazines. They range from People to US News and World Report with a Good Housekeeping thrown in.

The door opens. A woman appears. She is in her forties, has shoulder length blonde hair and glasses. She smiles as she introduces herself "Hello, I'm Eleanor. Katniss?"

"Yes. Yes I am." She extends her hand to shake mine. It's a gentle shake. Firm but not overpowering.

"It's nice to meet you. Come on in." She moves to the side. I walk past her into another office. There are two easy chairs and a sofa. On the cocktail table are a few large coffee table books. The look like art books. On the end table is a box of tissues. The is also a bookcase and a toy-box. If it's in here it's definitely for young patients. "Please sit down." She motions to the sofa. I'm not sure if I should sit or lay down. I decide to sit.

She sits in one of the easy chairs. "It's a beautiful day out. Too bad we're inside."

"I know." I answer her back. I try to get comfortable but I'm really nervous.

"Emma told me to expect your call but she didn't tell me what it was about."

I pause then I try to say something but there are no words coming out of my mouth. She senses something is wrong. "Oh, I forgot something. I'm here for you. Not the fire department. Everything that goes on in our sessions is confidential." That's reassuring. I take a deep breath and relax a little.

I think she can sense I'm still nervous so she starts. "You're a woman firefighter. There aren't too many are there."

"No. There are less than fifty of us."

"Do you enjoy being a firefighter?" She asks me.

"Oh yes. I love it. It's exciting but also you help people. And your assistance helps them immediately." I go on about why I like firefighting and being a female firefighter.

"Why did you join? Family? Were you a volunteer?"

"Yes and yes. My father and his father were with the FDNY. I'm still a volunteer with Panem."

"What did your father think of you joining?"

"He wasn't around when I joined. He died on the job eleven years before I joined." My eyes get watery. I have to remind myself that it's okay to cry. I reach for the box of tissues.

"That must have been hard on you. You weren't a teenager yet. Were you?"

"I was eleven and yeah it was hard. We were very close." We go on talking about my father. The things I remember about him. What we did together. Visiting him at the firehouses here and in the city, hunting, camping. How he taught me to ride a bike.

"Do you think he would be proud of you? What you've accomplished?" I pause and think about that. I nod my head.

"Yeah. I think he would. I think I'm a good person and I'm a good firefighter."

She looks at me. I'm not sure why. She seems puzzled. "Why do you only think you're a good person?"

I shrug my shoulders. "I dunno. I guess that's for other people to judge."

"Well, let me ask. Do 'you' think you're a good person?"

"Yes."

"Why?" Oh Christ. Jeez, I'm drawing a blank.

After a period of silence she throws me a lifeline. "Are you good because you help people?"

I answer quickly "Yes. I help people on and off the job."

"And what else?" I am more prepared now. I roll off a string of my positive qualities.

"Well, I'm loyal, I'm honest, ethical..." She nods approvingly.

"You mentioned loyalty first. Is that important to you?" She asks me.

"Yeah. People can depend on me and I think I surround people who are loyal."

"Who are you most loyal to?"

"Well. Peeta of course. My family, Mom and Prim. My friends, my brother firefighters."

"Do you expect the same from them?"

"Absolutely."

"Good. Very good." A small alarm goes off. She looks at it. "Our time has just about run out."

"Already?"

"I'm afraid so. Would you like to continue with me."

I can't get the words out fast "Yes. Yes I would." We walk to her desk and make the appointment. It's for the end of the week.

"It was very nice meeting you." She extends her hand. I take her's and shake it while she covers my hand with her other hand.

"Same here. See you in a couple of days." I walk out and get in my car and drive home.

"You saw your new therapist today, right?" Peeta asks.

"Yup." I nod and smile.

"It went well?" He is cautious, almost afraid to talk about it.

"Very well." Peeta listens intently as I tell him about our session. I realize as I'm speaking that we didn't talk about my nightmares, Gale or the Twin Towers. Even though we didn't talk about what I think is at the root of my problems I feel good. Maybe well enough to get a good night's sleep.


	15. Chapter 15 PVFD

**PVFD**

"Hey honey." I scream out to Peeta. There is really no reason to yell, our apartment is so tiny. We still haven't found a new place to live since we got married. I still haven't moved all my stuff in. Not because I don't want to. But because I couldn't fit my stuff in here.

"Hi beautiful. Welcome home." He looks at me. He wants to say something but he can't seem to get the words out. I know what he is reluctant to say, so I throw him a lifeline.

"Therapy was good." That is the truth. "It was so easy to open up to her."

"Really?" He has a right to be suspicious. I haven't had one good thing to say about my previous therapists. But I had every right to say what i have about them. They were all the same, like they were clones or something. They asked the same questions, reacted the same way to all my answers. As I think about it, maybe they went through some sort of department training class about how to deal with people like me.

"It went good, really good. Once we started talking the time flew by. Before I knew it, my time was up."

"Are you going back?"

"Yup." Even though I am only looking at him from the corner of my eye I can see a big smile on his face. I walk over to him and run my hand through his hair. I sit on his lap and nuzzle my face in his neck. He wraps his arms around me and we fall onto the bed. We kiss. Oh God I can't remember the last time we kissed like this. Not even on our short honeymoon.

A tear starts to form in my eye. It leaks out. He looks at me and kisses the tear. I squeeze him as hard as I can. He pushes himself up and looks at me. I cup my hand around his neck and pull him back down. "I'm sorry." I whisper in his ear.

"What for?"

"For being so distant. I don't know what came over me. I'm so sorry." My tears start to flow out now.

"Oh Katniss. You have nothing to be sorry for. You suffered a tragedy and you have to learn to deal with it. I just ask you a favor."

"Anything."

"Let me help." I nod yes. I bury my face in his chest. Oh I love him so much and I don't want anything to ever come between us again. Especially not my screwed up head.

* * *

I love the feel of his naked body against mine. I hadn't realized how much I love making love to the baker's son. When we're together it's like we are not only of one body but of one mind and ... one soul.

I get up to go to the kitchen. It's not really a kitchen. What did my Mother call it, oh, a "kitchenette." That's funny. It literally means little kitchen. It should really mean miniature kitchen. I open the fridge. Oh it's cold. Maybe I should have put on something. I take the only thing I can find, a Coke.

I grab a big sweatshirt and throw it on. I sit in this big easy chair and stare out the window. It's so peaceful outside. Nothing moving. We happen to live on a dead-end street so there's very little traffic. It's a nice change from the noise of the City.

... beep ... beep ... beep ... beep ... beep  
I grab the pager and turn down the volume on it. "Attention Panem Fire Department. Report of a structure fire at sixteen Chestnut Street cross of Elm Avenue. Repeating..."

I get up and put on my sweatpants, socks and sneakers. I kiss Peeta on the cheek. He doesn't wake. I shake him "Peeta. Peeta." That rouses him.

"What? What's up?"

"There is a workin' structure. I'm goin'" A look of concern comes over his face. "I'll be okay. Promise."

"Okay, be safe." He reaches and kisses me. I race out the door. We only live a block from the firehouse so I just run there.

"As I turn the corner the cars with the blue lights are starting to arrive in the parking lot. The chauffeur has already arrived and is pulling the engine on the apron. The engine is over twenty years old but it gets the job done. It gets us there in one piece and it'll throw a lot of water.

I get into my gear and jump into one of the crew seats. I put the SCBA straps over my shoulders and look who is back with me. There are two young guys who are exterior only and next to me is an older man. He's been a volunteer for as long as the department has had this pumper.

"You take the nozzle. I'll be back up." Charlie says to me. This is great. It's not great that someones house is burning down but I get to be on the hoseline entering a house on fire. This is not something I get to do that often. In the City I work on a truck. That means we do everything except put water on the fire.

I can smell the fire. It's a mixture of wood, plastic and rubber. All the crap that we keep in our houses now. We turn the corner and the house on fire comes into view. It's a small house. From the look of it, it is only slightly larger than our apartment and looks only about ten feet wide. It was probably a summer home that someone now uses full-time.

Fire is coming out of a window in the center. We get off the rig and grab the hoseline and stretch it to the front door. My partner is right behind me. He has a halligan and breaks one of the window panes in the door. He reaches in, turns the knob and opens the door. I signal the chauffeur to charge the line. I open the nozzle and air comes out first. Then the water starts to flow. I close the nozzle and both of us put our facepieces on.

I open the door and we are hit with wall of heat and smoke. As soon as we do I can hear on of the kids take the side window. He puts his pike pole through the glass and pulls the window apart. The change is almost instantaneous. The smoke starts to clear and the heat goes down. We enter and start our way through the front room to the room on fire.

Oh shit, what am I hung up on? Damn, this place is a mess. We're crawling over crap. Cloths and furniture are all over. At least we can almost see where we're going.

We make our way through the door and we can see the fire to our left. It's against the wall all the way up the ceiling. I open the nozzle and I sweep the floor. I need to clear the floor. Then I hit the wall and the ceiling and work my way around again. The smoke changes to white. That's steam. That means we're on our way towards putting this out.

We only put water on the fire for about ten seconds and it's knocked down. I get a pat on the back "Good knock down." I turn around.

"Thanks." We get up and start to relax. The next crew comes in. They'll do what I normally do. Rip down the wall and ceiling look for more fire. We'll spend the next two hours doing this and helping the fire investigators figure out why it started.

It felt good to be with crew on a job. Even though I have only been on light duty for a couple of weeks it seems like forever. The only positive thing about working in the Division HQ is that it gives me time to rest and get better.

Now I can't wait to take a shower and be with the man of my dreams


	16. Chapter 16 Communications is Queen

A/N: This is a lot of firefighting lingo in this chapter. A glossary follows.

* * *

Being in the office doing paperwork is boring. So when the "10-75 All Hands" came in I ran down the hall to get the Deputy. "Chief! All Hands Box 202."

"Okay. I'll be out in a minute." I stand outside the bathroom door waiting. "Kat. Let me pee in peace. Go start the car and I'll be right down." I chuckle at Emma's comment while I run to the street to start the Division car. I'm excited because I haven't seen fire in a while. I'm used to getting calls all shift long. Fires, car accidents, people stuck in elevators and other unmentionable places. But being the Deputy Chief's aid means doing paperwork, filing and being her chauffeur. I like Emma and I'm learning a lot about command but it's dull most of the time. The only time we leave the office for a called is a confirmed fire.

"Thanks for waiting." She quips as she gets in.

"Sorry." I say sheepishly.

"No big. You have to relax. The last thing I need is you stressing me out."

I can understand that. Emma spends most of her time putting out fires. And not with water.  
The lieutenant doesn't get along with his Captain. This chief doesn't get along with his commander. There was a fight between two firefighters. That was funny. She stood between two 6'2" hulks with her smaller 5'6" slim body. But she scared them straight.

"Have you heard anything?"

"They've stretched a line into one building and starting to work on another building."

"Division One to Manhattan K."

"Go Division One."

"Division is responding. Transmit a second alarm for box 202 K"

"10-4 Division One. Attention in the Borough of Manhattan. A Second Alarm has been transmitted for Box 202."

We monitor the radio as we make our way to the scene. "Building at 130 Catherine St. is 50 by 100 ordinary construction. Four story. Fire on the second story. Two lines are stretched."  
"Building at 126 Catherine St. is a three store wood frame 25 by 50 with fire on the second story. Two lines are stretched."

I see a worried look on Emma's face. "What's wrong?"

"It's one thing operating in a brick building, it's another operating in a commercial wood frame. It was probably built in the 1800's and has been modified a dozen times. Not a good thing."

"We need another line to the original fire building." The radio blasts.

"That's the third time they've asked for water. I wonder if they're having pressure issues." Emma wonders out loud.  
We get to the scene and park. We head towards the Battalion Chief in command.

"Division One is 84 at the box. Doubtful will hold."

"Ten-four Division One."

"Chief. What's the problem with the water?"

"We can't find the problem. The engine is pumping at full pressure." She walks over to a charged hose line and steps on it. It's solid. She looks perplexed.

"We need another line!" Come screams on the radio.

"What's the fuckin' problem with the water?" She gets one confused look after another. She starts looking a the spaghetti pile of hose. "I need an officer operating in the brick building." Emma calls on the radio.

"Ladder one-three."

"Ladder one-three, are you asking for water?"

"No. We're good." They answer back.

"I need an officer operating in the wood frame building with the church on the ground floor."

"Engine two-zero on."

"Engine two-zero, are you asking for more water?"

"Yeah. We need another line fast!" come a desperate plea.

"YOU'RE SENDING WATER TO THE WRONG BUILDING." She glares at the chief in charge. "Get another two and a half in there now." Firefighters scramble. I look up and fire is blowing out of the front and window on the alley side between the two buildings. "Captain, get a line between the buildings also. Kat!"

"Yeah Chief."

"Transmit a third alarm."

"Division One-Alpha to Manhattan K."

"Division One go."

"Transmit a third alarm for this box K."

"Ten-four Division One. Attention in the Borough of Manhattan. A third alarm has been transmitted for box 202."  
I look up and things have gotten worse. Fire is now on the third floor.

"Captain. Evacuate the buildings."

"Attention all units. Evacuate the building. Attention all units. Evacuate the building." The air horn on the engine closest to the buildings blasts three times signally an evacuation. Firefighters start streaming out of both buildings. She's not taking a chance that someone might misunderstand the instructions, so she allows the evacuation of the brick building.

"Chief. Get a roll call going. See if anyone is missing." She commands one of the Battalion Chiefs.  
I look at Emma "The Assistant Chief is almost here." She nods.

"Urgent. Engine two-zero nozzle. The fire is behind us."

"All radio traffic stop. Engine two-zero. Where are you?" Emma asks. She also looks directly at me and holds up four fingers. That's my signal.

"Division One-Alpha to Manhattan K."

"Go One-Alpha K."

"Transmit a fourth alarm K."

"10-4, Division One. Attention in the Borough of Manhattan. A fourth alarm has been transmitted for box 202."

A scream comes from the radio. "We're on the third floor. Not sure where."

"Can you make it to a window?" Emma asks.

"Yeah. We're making our way now." I can see a chair taking out a window on the alley side.

"Get a ladder to them." One firefighter is leaning out of a window. Suddenly the building belches. Smoke and dust comes pouring out of every window and the firefighter has disappeared. Shit, I think the floor collapsed. Emma grabs my arm. "Call for an additional rescue and another FAST truck." She releases me and directs a ladder to the second floor.

"MAYDAY! MAYDAY!."

"Member calling the Mayday, go!"

"This is Two-zero nozzle and back-up. I think we're on the second floor now!"

"10-4 Two-zero. Can you get to a window?"

"We're at one now." A firefighter sticks his head out of the window and goes head first out of the window to the ladder. His partner follows.

"Chief. Are we all accounted for." The Battalion Chief responds with a yes. "Start operations up again for 130, the brick building. Go exterior on 126. And start interior operation on 122."

The Assistant Chief walks over. "Emma, what happened here?"

She frowns "They were disorganized and the members inside couldn't communicate what building they were in. It was all a communications issue. And as we know, 'Communications is King.'"

"Under control now?"

"Yeah. We lost the building and almost two members." She has a look of concern on her face. In the few years I've know her I have yet to see her like this.

* * *

We have been here for four of hours but it is finally out. The companies are taking up.  
and now it's time to leave. As we're driving back to headquarters we stop at a deli. "Order me a tea please." I walk over to the counter and order two teas and a couple of muffins. I'm carrying them back to our table when I see the chief staring at the cooler full of beer. "Chief." Silence. "Emma." She turns around.

"Oh thanks." She takes her tea and sits down. She drinks it slowly and just stares off into the distance. I'm reluctant to ask her what's up so I sit and eat with her in quiet.

* * *

A/N: This is a fictionalized story of an actual event from April 2012 in the Bronx. All the firefighters got out safely.

10-75 All Hands- Confirmed fire, 4 Engines, 3 Ladder Trucks, 1 Rescue, 1 Squad, 2 Battalion Chiefs, 1 Deputy Chief

2nd Alarm- 8 Engines, 5 Ladder Trucks, 1 Rescue, 1 Squad, 4 Battalion Chiefs, 1 Deputy Chief + specialty units

3rd Alarm- 12 Engines, 8 Ladder Trucks, 1 Rescue, 1 Squad, 5 Battalion Chiefs, 1 Deputy Chief + specialty units

4th Alarm- 16 Engines, 9 Ladder Trucks, 1 Rescue, 1 Squad, 5 Battalion Chiefs, 1 Deputy Chiefs + specialty units

A division commands a group of battalions. It is commanded by a deputy chief. Emma is a deputy chief.

Division One Alpha is the chiefs aid.

Assistant Chief is the Deputy Chief's superior.

FAST-Firefighter Assist and Search Team. A company of firefighters whose job is to rescue a firefighter in need.

"Box" is an intersection location.

84 at the box. Short for 10-84. On scene.

"K"- End of transmission.


	17. Chapter 17 Gale Jr

**Gale jr.**

I hadn't spent much time with Madge recently. I don't know if it was because I just didn't know what to say to her. Or because I was busy. I think it might be a combination of both. But now is the time that me and my best friend get reacquainted. And a day in the mall shopping for last minute baby things should do the trick.

We walk through the mall looking at the windows. She doesn't seem to be looking for anything special, just looking around. "What are we looking for?"

"Nothing special. Just wanted to get out of the house. I was feeling kinda claustrophobic." She smiles as we wander through the stores in the mall. But it's almost a forced smile. I don't think she's trying to forget her problems and in a way forget Gale. She's trying to cope. Just thinking about what life is going to be like without the man she chose to spend the rest of her life with.

"Come on. Let's eat." I put my arm around her. She looks up at me. I think she appreciate just being with someone.

"I need to sit." I think walking is becoming more difficult. She is carrying a lot of extra weight. I feel for her. We sit on the bench. She takes a deep breath. "You know Katniss, I miss him a lot."

I grab her hand and squeeze it gently "I know."

She looks at me "You miss him also. Don't you?" A wave of grief came over me. I almost get sick to my stomach thinking about Gale. I start to tear.

"Yeah. I do." I close my eyes. The tears now come out freely now. Madge puts her arm around me and hugs me. I lean over and put my face in my hands. Now I'm sobbing. Madge hugs me harder.

I look up. I can feel my face is beet red. "It's okay Katniss. Have a good cry. We're in no hurry." Oh God, I'm supposed to be consoling her, not the other way around.

I mouth "Thanks." I take a deep breath. She leans on my shoulder to get up. I wasn't ready for that and I almost collapse that side of my body. I put my hand on the bench handle to steady myself. "Jeez Madge, you have a lot of power there."

She giggles "Come on. Let's get something to eat." She grabs my hand and hauls me up. We walk to Ruby Tuesday to eat. We're seated in booth and are given a menu.

The waitress comes over and takes my order when she turns to Madge her eyes get large "Wow. When are you due?"

"Any day now."

"Congrats." She says.

"Thanks." Madge says.

We eat our lunch and decide to have desert. "I want something fun." She says with a smile. "I think I'll have cheesecake."

"Me too. With a cherry on top."

Just as we start eating our desert I look at her and she takes a deep breath. "OOOH."

"What's wrong?"

"I think I'm having contractions."

I almost choke "Oh my God. Madge. Now? What do I do? Jeez. Now? Waitress!"

"Katniss relax. It'll be a while. Finish your cheesecake." I stare at her. "Stop staring at me like I'm a ticking timebomb." I can't keep my off her. "Kat. You realize you're going to be an aunt soon."

"That's right. I haven't thought about that." I sit up straight in my booth. "That's right. I'm going to be an aunt."

I relax and go back to my cheesecake. "Katniss."

"Yeah Madge."

"Get the car."

"What?"

"Get the car now. I'm having a baby."

"Of course you are."

"NO! I mean now."

"What?"

"I MEAN NOW!" Holy crap. "KAT GO NOW!" I jump up and look at the waitress. "KAT GO! I'LL PAY THE BILL."

I run out to the parking lot. Shit! I came out a different door. I have no idea where the car is. Damn. I run towards the other exit so I can get my bearings. HONK! HONK! "FUCK YOU!" And I flip him the bird. "Asshole."

I get to the exit and look around. I have no idea where I parked. The clicker! I start to walk and hit the clicker. ...beep ...beep ...beep. There it is. I run over to it. Oh Christ I can't get the key in. I'm so nervous. Hey, why am I nervous?

I finally get the car started and pull out. Oh traffic. I HATE TRAFFIC. I sit on the horn. "HEY MOVE THE FUCKIN' CAR!" I scream at them. Thank God my windows are closed. I get to the door and Madge is sitting outside with the waitress. I pull up too close and go up on the curb.

"Hey, you forget how to drive?" She asks.

"Get in. Come on. Let's go, go, go."

"Okay. Arden Hill Hospital please. And I brought our deserts." I hit the pedal and speed out of the parking lot. "Kat. You can slow down."

"If I can drive a fire engine I can drive a car." That is until the red lights appear behind me. "Oh damn." I grab my wallet and fumble looking for my license.

"Good afternoon. Do you know why I pulled you over?" He asks me.

"Yes I do. I was speeding. My friend is about to give birth." He looks over and he can see she is very much pregnant. Madge waves. "Hello officer."

"Where are you going?"

"Arden Hill."

"You're only a few minutes away. Go the speed limit and you'll be alright." He leans in. "Good luck ma-am."

"Thank you officer." I pull away.

"Katniss. The speed limit is 65 not 40."

"Oh. I'm sorry." I speed up to 65 and we get to Arden Hill Hospital in no time. I help her out of the car and we walk to admitting.

"Hello. My friend here... um... um..." I can't get her name out of my mouth.

"Madge."

"Thanks." I look back at the clerk. "Yes Madge... um... um..."

"Madge Hawthorne."

"Thank you Madge."

The clerk looks at me "Why don't I get the information from the mom-to-be."

"Oh that's a good idea." I say.

"Katniss. Why don't you call my mom." Madge says to me.

"Good idea." I run to the payphone. Damn, I can't remember her phone number. "MADGE. WHAT'S YOUR PHONE NUMBER?"

Madge is now being wheeled to delivery. "Katniss. Will you be with me in the delivery room?"

"Oh Madge, I don't know." I look at her with a nervous look on my face.

"Please. I want you there."

"Okay. I'll be there." I'm not sure I belong in there. I don't know what I have to do. "Madge. What do I have to do?"

She looks up at me and sighs "Just hold my hand. That's all."

"Oh I can do that. Why didn't you say that before? Jeez..." I'm cut off.

"Hey. Where did this chatty Katniss come from? What happened to sullen and quiet Katniss?"

"I guess you're just lucky to see the new me." Then I think about that for a second. "At least the temporary new me."


	18. Chapter 18 Gale is Here

A/N: Sorry for the delay but FireGirl is back. I was in the middle of writing "We're Having a Baby." I decided to concentrate on "Baby" because it was time sensitive. The story is near the end and there should not be any more delays. Enjoy the read and let me know what you think.

**Gale is Here**

"So what do I have to do." I ask the nurse.

"Keep her calm and relaxed. Help her find a comfortable position for her breathing. Get her what she needs." I nod. "And just be there for her." The nurse escorts me to the room.

"Hi. How are you feeling? Comfortable?"

"Yes, for now. Did you see my parents. They were just here."

"Yeah, they are going to get something to eat."

"Ya know Kat this will be a while. This isn't TV or the movies.""

"I know. My mom is bringing me a change of cloths and something to eat."

"Wanna watch TV?"

"Sure. Why not." And so the wait starts.

"Full house."

"Shoot, beats me."

"Are you letting the pregnant girl win?"

"Sadly no."

* * *

"King me."

"Damn. I give up. You win again."

* * *

"So who is Prim dating now?"

"You'll never guess."

"Who, who?"

"Rory!"

"Ahhhh! I knew that would happen sooner or later."

* * *

"Almost 10 centimeters. You're almost ready."

"Thank God. Katniss was about to fall asleep."

"What! What! What! Is it time yet?"

"Yes Katniss! Almost ready."

"Oh my God. I don't think I could wait longer."

"You've been asleep for an hour. I read 10 magazines."

"Alright Madge. Let's go in."They wheel Madge to the delivery room. I change into scrubs. My hands are shaking. I've never been so nervous. I shouldn't be, I've actually seen a baby being born. But this is different. Madge is my best friend and this is Gale's child.

"Ready?"

"Ready."

"Come on Madge, breathe!" She squeezes my hand. Ouch. I switch hands. "Breathe. In. Out. In. Out." Madge's breathing becomes regular.

"Owwww!" Another contraction. She squeezes my hand again.

"Push Madge, push." Madge bares down and pushes. "Push Madge." Madge pushes until the contraction ends.

"Holy crap!" Madge yells. Everybody laughs.

"Very funny Madge. Now push when the next contraction comes." The doctor says.

"Oh, oh, oh!" Madge screams.

"Breathe. Breathe with me." I say to Madge. We breathe in unison.

"Madge! Push now! Big push!"

"AHHHHH!"

"Almost there. Keep pushing. His head is showing." Madge pushes harder. "Come on Madge. One more big push!" Madge gives it her all. "Here we go. Almost there." I look up and see the baby. "

"Madge! You have a brand new baby boy!"

"Waaaaaaaaaaa!"

"With a healthy set of lungs." The nurse says.

"Let me see him." Madge asks. The nurse holds up Gale Jr. "He's beautiful."

"Congratulations Madge."

"Thanks Katniss. Your Godson is here."

"He is beautiful. I wish Gale was here to see him."

"Katniss. Gale was here." She continues to stare at the baby. "I felt him. I know it was him."

They examined, washed and wrapped Gale. The nurse put Gale in Madge's arms. "And he's in Gale Jr. I can really feel him."

I look at Madge and her son. She is radiant. It's been a long nine months. And going it alone for the last two months was difficult. But not as hard it will be for the next few years. Raising a child alone is a challenge. But my mom and Hazelle did it. So I have confidence Gale Jr. is in good hands.

"Katniss, go tell my parents please."

"Okay. We'll see you in your room."

* * *

"Congratulations Grandma and Grandpa." I greet Mr. and Mrs. Undersee. "She had a wonderful baby boy." They hug each other and then me. My mom joins in. Mr. and Mrs. Undersee leave to see the baby.

"So you got to see a baby being born. What did you think?"

"Oh mom. I was at the other end. I didn't see much." She puts her arm around me and pulls me in tight. "But it was nice."

"Hope you enjoyed the experience. That might be you some day." My mom taps my leg.

"Yes mom. But we just got married. We haven't even had a proper honeymoon."

"Oh please. You can take a trip anytime. But starting a family. That needs good timing."

"And why is this a good time?"

"You have a loving husband with a good job. You're young. You're surrounded by great friends and family."

"Peeta and I haven't talked about having kids."

"Well, maybe you should." She gets up and opens her arms. "Peeta, great to see you."

"Hi Rose." They hug. He holds out his hand and takes mine. "Hello beautiful." He reaches over and kisses me.

"Hi handsome." He releases my mother and hugs me.

"I'm going to see the baby. You two talk." She winks before walking away.

"Bye mom."

"Bye Rose." She walks down the hallway. "What was that about?"

"I don't know. Who knows what goes through her head." I take his arm and we walk towards the nursery.

"He is so small. It's hard to believe he's Gale's. Gale was so big."

"He'll be the size of Gale in no time." Peeta assures me. I look at the baby. I can see that he's a Hawthorne. The shape of the face, the color of his skin. But it's his eyes. They are dark. Just like his dad's.

"So how do you like him Aunt Katniss?" Madge grabs my arm and leans into me.

"He's beautiful. And big. Was it painful?"

"Of course it was painful. You try pushing out something the size of a melon out through your... your... you know what."

"I know what you mean Madge." I shiver at the thought of something the size of a melon coming out of my you know what. "Well women have done it forever and my mom is small and she's done it twice."

"Hey. You starting to have thoughts. I never thought you were the mommy type."

"I wasn't."

"But now?"

"I don't know. Maybe. Who knows. I don't know."

"You're a little confused now." She takes my hand. "It will clear up."

"Maybe I should talk to Peeta."

"Katniss, you don't have to talk to Peeta. He's great with kids. Look at him." She points to Peeta ogling the kids. "There. See."

I wonder if it is time. Well, we'll see.


	19. Chapter 19 Line of March

**Line of March**

Nothing clears the mind like a run. Your heart beats fast and the solitude allows you to think. And it's Madge and Hawthorne's that is occupying the space in my head. How will she deal with life without Gale.

How will Hazelle make out? She lost her husband and her first-born to fire. And now with Rory in the academy, she has a lot on her mind. She hasn't spoken to anybody about her concerns. She has kept them inside.

I run past Panem's firehouse. The purple bunting hang over the door and the flag flies at half-staff. Starting at 6AM PVFD is out of service. We'll be preparing for Gale's memorial service.

Gale's body nor any Rescue Two's members have been found. Somewhere underneath tons of rubble are their bodies. It's possible they'll never be found. Every trace of them is probably gone, disintegrated.

Right now the streets are empty but in a couple of hours firefighters from throughout the region and even the country will fill the streets.

"You look very nice Katniss." My mom says to me.

"Thanks mom." I'm not sure how I'll handle it today. But I will be strong for Madge. "Mom, how did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Without daddy."

"It was a lot of extra work. Raising you two girls."

"No mom. How did 'you' handle it emotionally?"

My mom keeps herself busy. She not answering. She won't even make eye contact.

"If you don't want to talk about it mom that's okay."

"No, no Katniss. I'll tell you." She continues to fold towels. "It was hard. The thought that I was not going to spend the rest of my life with my best friend was unbearable. So I put my focus into you two. Making sure my girls grew up well."

I give a crooked smile and kiss her. "You did well mom." I put on my jacket. "I'll see you at the service."

The service is at the Panem Fire Department's firehouse. It is big enough and the perfect choice. Gale was a member from age sixteen 'til the day he died.

I turn the corner and the giant American flag flying across Main Street comes into view . It's strung up between our ladder truck and Goshen's truck. The procession will pass underneath it.

I'm early. I just want to make sure everything is in place. Photo albums fill the first table. Gale as a kid. Oh man he was a little bruiser. He always had that tough guy face on. In his pee wee football uniform. Dirty after a game. In his clean First Communion suit. Dirty after playing in the mud. Clean for a photo with Santa. Dirty after getting stuck in a pipe he wanted to explore. It's a theme here.

From Boy Scouts, hunting, high school, family birthdays. He looks cut holding a new-born Posy. He is concentrating on not dropping her. Another of us taken by our favorite hunting spot.

And another of him with the fire department. I can't look at them now.

On the opposite side of the room are his tools of the trade. A flat head ax. A Halligan. A six-foot hook. A small ladder. A water can. Everything a truckie would need. And a coil of rope. Now that's funny. Gale was the best rigger I've ever seen. If it had to do with ropes and knots he knew it. He could rig a lowering or raising system quicker than anyone. But don't try to hook him in and put him over the edge. He was me. I'll go over in a New York minute. As long as I knew Gale rigged it.

At the front of the room is a large photo of Gale. It was his first fire in the city. It was weeks before he saw any real action. The other members of his company referred to him as a white cloud. But it finally came. A fire in the ceiling of a Bodega. Gale was on the nozzle. Give the new guy some practice. He opened the nozzle too fast, his backup man wasn't ready and he wasn't holding on tight enough.

He lost control and sent water all over. Not only putting out the fire in seconds but took down the rest of the ceiling and knocked over some shelving units. It was a mess. The photo shows him exiting the store covered in crap. Ceiling tile, food and who knows what else.

Surrounding that are more photos of Gale. This is what we have left, memories.

"Katniss, we're ready."

"Okay Chief."

The procession will begin on the other side of the village, go along Main Street and end at the firehouse.

Heading the line of march is the color guard. The American flag in the middle flanked by the colors of the FDNY and the PVFD. On the outside are members holding ceremonial axes and pike poles.

Next is the pipe and drum corp. This one is from Rockland County. It was a challenge getting one because of how many funerals and memorial services are still going on.

After that are the city, and civilian officials from the city, town and county.

Behind them are the members of Resue Two followed by the members of PVFD. All in their Class A uniforms.

Right behind is Rory Hawthorne in his brand new uniform carrying one of Gale's helmets. He is attending the first class of new firefighters after September eleventh.

Then the caisson. Normally the antique fire engine would carry the casket but today it doesn't. The officer is in front, flanked by three pallbearers on each side and two on the rear step. I am a pallbearer.

Then the family and friends led by Madge pushing Gale Jr. in his carriage.

Taking up the rear is the apparatus. FDNY, local and visiting.

The walk is less than a mile. It is past firefighters from all over the country saluting their fallen brother.

Just before we turn is the giant American flag hanging from the two ladder trucks.


	20. Chapter 20 It's Time

**It's Time**

The FDNY Chief of Department escorts Madge into the building. Panem's Chief escorts Hazelle. Posy by Rory. The Undersee's by the Assistant Chief. The family is allowed time alone to pay their personal respects.

"Oh Katniss, you guys did such a nice job. Look at all these photos." Madge and the family marvel at the display of photos representing Gale's life. "Thank you so much. I can't wait to show Gale Jr. his father." She looks at an album with baby pictures in it. "They look so much alike you'd swear they were the same." I can't bring myself to even talk. "Katniss, are you alright."

I take a deep breath. "Yeah."

"Remember Katniss. Today is a day to celebrate Gale's life." She takes my hands in her's.

"You're right. Let's start."

Two members stand as honor guard while firefighters pass by Gale's photo and give a final salute. Every fifteen minutes the honor guard changes. There is no shortage of volunteers.

The family, friends, fire officials and politicians get up and talk about Gale and firefighting.

* * *

"Firemen are going to get killed. When they join the department they face that fact. When a man becomes a fireman his greatest act of bravery has been accomplished. What he does after that is all in the line of work. They were not thinking of getting killed when they went where death lurked. They went there to put the fire out, and got killed. Firefighters do not regard themselves as heroes because they do what the business requires." (1)

* * *

When fire is cried and danger is neigh,  
'God and the firemen' is the people's cry;  
But when 'tis out. and all things righted,  
God is forgotten and the firemen slighted. (2)

* * *

"If Prometheus was worthy of the wrath of heaven for kindling the first fire upon earth, how ought all the gods honor the men who make it their professional business to put it out?" (3)

* * *

When I am called to duty, God  
whenever flames may rage,  
Give me the strength to save some life  
Whatever be its age.

Help me to embrace a little child  
Before it's too late,  
Or some older person  
from the horror of that fate.

Enable me to be alert  
And hear the weakest shout,  
And quickly and efficiently  
to put the fire out.

I want to fill my calling  
and give the best in me,  
To guard my neighbor  
And protect his property.

And if according to Your will  
I have to lose my life,  
Please bless with Your protecting hand  
My children and my wife (4)

* * *

I have to speak next. I'm very nervous. I have a lot to say but I don't know how to say it. Luckily Peeta wrote my talk. "Ready?" Peeta asks. I nod and squeeze his hand.

"Gale was my friend, my hunting partner, my brother... " I'm surprised my legs still support me.

"When we were training on rope on the tower he was reluctant. I asked him if he was afraid of heights. He said no, that would be stupid. I'm afraid of falling." Laughs come from the assembly.

"And then there was the time he got stuck under his car. His hand got wedged between the frame and the transmission. Well his "friends" came by and took his pants." More laughs, especially from two guys I remember from high school.

"But it was Gale's loyalty I admired most. When we both lost our fathers he let Prim and me lean on him with Rory, Vick and Posy. Thank you Gale."

I sit down with Peeta and he puts his arm around me. "That was nice. That last part was all you."

"Thanks." I kiss him on the cheek.

After the ceremony we move outside. We stand in line at attention and salute. They ring the bell in five sets of five rings.

Someone sounds the firehouse siren for a last time.

A lone piper plays "Amazing Grace." We are then dismissed and we return to the hall.

The most popular one there was Gale Jr. "Let me have him." Hazelle holds her grandson.

"Now my turn." Madge's mom says. "Come to grandma." Let the cooing begin.

"Now go to Aunt Katniss. Here sweetie, hold your godson." I take Gale into my arms and stare into those eyes that remind me so much of his father and for the first time come to grips with it. Gale is never coming back. He is gone and never coming back.

But he still lives in our memories. The photos and videos of him remind us of him constantly. And by the smiles on everyone's faces they remember Gale also.

One story after another passes around the room. No sad or tragic stories today. Just happy and funny.

"Here is your beer." Thanks Peeta. I take a sip.

"That tastes good." He is such a handsome little boy if I do say so myself. "Peeta, hold Gale." Peeta takes his godson and sits with him. He looks so happy, so natural. "Peeta. I need to ask you something."

"Yes."

"Is it the right time to start a family?" He gets a big smile and chuckles.

"Katniss. It's never the right time or the wrong time. It's just time." I lean down and kiss him. We are now the happiest people on earth.

"Katniss, sing a song please." One of the members asks me.

"Oh come on Ray. You know I won't sing unless I have a couple of drinks in me."

"From the look at the empty bottles next to you..."

"Damn Ray, you got me. What do you want to hear?"

"Danny Boy. Sing Danny Boy."

"Oh God, anything but that. It'll make me cry."

"So what, crying's good."

"Okay, hear we go."

_Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling_  
_From glen to glen, and down the mountain side_  
_The summer's gone, and all the roses falling_  
_'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide._

_But come ye back when summer's in the meadow_  
_Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow_  
_'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow_  
_Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so._

_But when he come, and all the flowers are dying_  
_If I am dead, as dead I well may be_  
_You'll come and find the place where I am lying_  
_And kneel and say an "Ave" there for me._

_And I shall hear, tho' soft you tread above me_  
_And all my grave will warm and sweeter be_  
_For you will bend and tell me that you love me_  
_And I shall sleep in peace until you come to me._

* * *

(1) Chief Edward F. Croker, FDNY,  
speaking upon the death of a deputy chief and  
four firefighters in February of 1908

(2) printed in "The Fireman's Journal" October 18, 1879

(3) John Godfrey Saxe, (American journalist, poet, and lecturer) circa 1850

(4) Fireman's Prayer by Firefighter A.W. "Smokey" Linn.


	21. Chapter 21 Rag Doll

**Rag Doll**

"Wow it's been a long night." Clove says.

"Yeah. I'm exhausted." I say. "That last job was tiring. We spent a long time on overhaul." We make ourselves a couple of sandwiches. Then Clove hands me a soda. I look at it. "I wish this was a beer."

"The memorial for your friend was yesterday, right?" Clove asks.

"Yeah."

"How did it go?"

"It went real well. A big celebration." We laugh a little and say together. "Just like the Irish." We then laugh some more.

Suddenly Jonsie pokes his head in.

"We got a call. Let's roll." Clove and I put the sandwiches down and run to the apparatus floor and get geared up.

I go to the middle of the street to stop traffic just like I do a a half a dozen times a day. As soon as the truck pulls out we hop on. "What is it?"

"Smoke in the apartment. 2A." Smoke could be anything from food on stove to an overheated ballast to an actual fire. We'll just have to wait til we get there. "We're second due." We're the second due ladder truck at this job. The outside team will help the first due's outside team with ventilation. I'm on the inside team with Jonsie. Along with the boss our job is to search the apartment above the fire. Today I'm the Irons and Jonsie is the Can Man. I carry a set of tools, a flathead ax and a Halligan.

"It's rollin' boys." Cap says. We can smell it and when we get closer we can see it. Fire is coming out of the apartment on the second floor. "Let's go." Jonsie grabs the water can, a two and one half gallon fire extinguisher and his six-foot hook. People ask what good a fire extinguisher is. I say that the extinguisher can darken down a fire and in an emergency it can buy us a few extra seconds. The difference between life and death.

We walk up the two flights to apartment 3A and bang on the door. No answer. The door is warm. "Kat, take the door." I wedge my Halligan in and Jonsie hits it with the flat part of the ax. "HIT!" It goes in a little. "HIT!" It goes in more. "HIT!" That did it. I push on it and the door opens. Smoke pours out. Cap radios this to command.

Without instructions we put our face pieces on and go on air. We duck walk into the apartment. The bedrooms are to the right. There is still some visibility down low. We come to a door on our left and Jonsie and Cap enter. They feel a victim on the bed. It's a woman. She's lifeless. They pull her off the bed and start to drag her out. My eyes shift to the right. There is another room. The door is partly open.

"There's another room!" I call to my partners.

"Go search it quick." The Captain drags the woman while Jonsie waits for me in the hallway.

Visibility is getting worse. I feel around with my Halligan along the floor and my hand following along the wall as I crawl to my right. What's this? "A bed. I found a bed!" I doubt Jonsie heard me. I search the top of the bed and I feel... I feel... a small body. "I have a victim!" I scream out. Again no answer. I pull the little body to the floor and towards the door when the loud crash happens.

A massive amount of smoke enters the room and flames lap the ceiling. "SHIT!" I retreat back into the room after closing the door. One mayday comes over the radio. "Mayday mayday mayday. This is seventeen can. There's been a floor collapse. I'm on the second floor."

Floor collapse. That means my escape is cut off. "We got him. Seventeen can is okay." Thank God for that. Now how do I get out. "Mayday mayday mayday. Seventeen irons is trapped with a victim on the third floor." I drag the body to the outside wall and find the window. We need fresh air. I take the window.

When a firefighter takes a window it means make that window a door. Glass, sash, drapes, blinds, everything goes. The smoke pours out of the room. That cools it off and clears it up enough to see my victim is a little girl about three years old.

But the relief is only temporary. The fire is drawn to the air and this room will get hot soon. "I need ladder for rescue." I call on the radio.

"Ten-four irons. Ladder is on the way."

"I have a child victim." I radio.

"Ten-four." I can hear my brothers frantically trying to raise the ladder in the narrow alleyway. These old building were not made for ease of escape.

"Command! Hurry up! It's getting hot in here." The door is smoking. It's getting hot enough to ignite. Shit!

"Ladder is up." I start to get up when the door blows in and flames cover the ceiling. It gets incredibly hot very fast. I cover the girl.

The flames retreat just enough after the explosion to know I have only one chance. I have to bail out of the window. I take the girl who is like a rag doll under one arm and dive out of the window. I pray the ladder is in place.

I can feel the ladder with my left hand while I'm in mid-air. I spread my legs wide and catch the window frame with my boots. I slam into the ladder and it knocks the wind out of me.

I bounce on the ladder and feel the heat above me. My legs are burning. Flames are shooting out of the window. After I bounce, the little girl, the rag doll, comes out of my arm and flies through the air. I look up and it all is in slow motion.

"NOOOOOOO!"


	22. Chapter 22 Recovery

**Recovery**

_Division One to Manhattan. Division is eighty-four at the box. K._

_Ten-four Division One. We've received multiple maydays at the scene. K._

_Manhattan stand-by. Division one to Lobby Command Post._

_LCP on._

_What's your status?_

_We've had an interior collapse. All MOS are accounted for. We have two ten-forty five code two's._

_Ten-four LCP. Division One to Manhattan. K._

_Manhattan on._

_There has been an interior collapse. All members accounted for. Two ten forty-five code two's. Transmit a third alarm. We are doubtful will hold. Have two additional EMS units respond at least one ALS. Exterior attack ongoing. K._

_Ten-four Division One._

* * *

"NOOOOOO!" The baby comes flying out my arm. "AHHHHHH!" My feet come off the window frame and I bounce off the ladder. My arm becomes wrapped in the ladder rungs. "The BABY!" All I can think about is the rag doll-like baby I just lost.

"GOT HER!" One of the firefighters catches her. _"I have a victim. Command I have a victim where is a bus."_ He calls on the rdio.

_"EMS is to the right when you get onto the street."_

My arm is twisted in the rungs and I hang off the ladder. "We got you brother. Get him off the ladder. Watch his arm. Hold him." I'm lifted off the ladder and lowered to the ground. The whole left side of my body is in intense pain.

"AHHHH! MY ARM!"

"Take his facepiece off." That's when they realize I'm a sister not a brother. Oh sorry. Get her pack off! Just cut the straps."

_"Command we need EMS to the alley. We have an injured member. Bring a stokes."_

_"Ten-four."_

I finally relax when I'm lying on my back and look up to see three hulking men standing over me. "Take her jacket off."

"NO! It hurts! Stop!"

"Cut off her jacket." One commands. I hear more people arriving.

"Roll her on her side." They roll me on my right side and slide the backboard under me. The medic examines me.

"OHHHH! That hurts! My shoulder!" I squirm and the medic struggles to keep me still.

"Please stay still firefighter." I look up at the stars and focus. "That's better. Now let me see what's up with you." He assesses me. "You have a shoulder and arm injury. We need to immobilize it." I nod my head.

I start to drift in and out of consciousness. I can't move. I start to panic but then I realize I'm in the back of a bus. I have a collar on and I'm strapped to a backboard.

"Where are we going?" I say through the oxygen mask.

"Bellvue." The medic says.

"The baby?" He looks at me.

"I'm not sure where they took her but Bellvue is the closest. Stay still. You're banged up pretty bad."

The left side of my body is in intense pain. I can wiggle my fingers. That's a good sign. "Have them call my husband. Give them this number." He writes down our home number.

They unhook all the straps and move me to an examination table. "Owwww!"

"Let's see what we have." The doctor says as he starts his exam. Poking, prodding, x-rays. They also give me a sedative.

"Firefighter Mellark, can you hear me?" I nod my head.

"Yes."

"You have a dislocated shoulder. Your left arm is fractured in three places and you have two fractured ribs."

"That's why I hurt all over."

"Yes, and you have a couple of burns on your legs." I just nod.

"First we're going to fix your shoulder."

"Where's the baby?"

"I don't know. Was she brought here?"

"I think so."

"I'll have someone check." I smile but also start to cry. "Then we'll fix the fractures. Then the burns. The ribs will just take time." My crying continues. "Don't worry. We'll fix you up." I shake my head.

"Nurse. Let's set this shoulder."

"This will put you in a half sleep. I'll keep you awake as we set the shoulder."

* * *

"How are you feeling?" The nurse asks me.

"Better. My shoulder doesn't hurt at all."

"Good. Get some rest. Your arm isn't going to be operated on for a while. In the meantime we're going to treat the burns."

"How are my legs?" I ask.

"Severe but not too bad. We can treat them here. But now you have a couple of visitors."

My mother and Peeta enter the room. "Peeta! Mom!" I start to ball. The tears are flowing out of me.

"Oh honey you're going to be fine." My mom leans over and hugs me gently. Peeta grabs my hand. She stands up and I pull Peeta close to me.

"Peeta!" I pull him as tight to me as I can. "Peeta!" I can't stop my crying. I release him. "Find the baby."

"The one you saved?"

"Yes, the one I saved. She's in the hospital." Peeta is the most wonderful man in the world. He just senses how important it is to me. "Find her for me." Peeta nods.

"I will. Be right back." Peeta turns to my mom. "Stay with her." My mom hugs him.

"So you saved a baby." I nod but I can't stop crying. "I remember when your father saved a child. That was one of the few times he spoke about work." I never heard this story before.

"Mom, tell me about it."

"Well he entered an apartment in Harlem. It was filled with junk. Stuff from floor to ceiling." That sounds so familiar. I've been in this position myself. "They searched as best they could but they had trouble moving around. Then they decided it was too dangerous and started to leave."

"What happened next mom?"

"When they got to the door they heard a cry and daddy went back to look."

"What did he find?"

"Nothing at first. He could hear something but couldn't find anyone. He kept looking and came across a closet. He opened the door and saw a little boy huddled in the corner of the closet." I could feel my eyes closing but I wanted to stay up and hear the rest of the story. I reach out and take her hand. She squeezes it. It's the same reassuring squeeze I remember from my childhood. I don't hear the end of the story because I fall asleep. I'm sure I know the end.

* * *

Glossary add-ons:

Ten forty-five code two - Serious injury

Doubtful will hold - Fire will not be put out with the current assignment. (Opposite is Probable will hold)


	23. Chapter 23 One Mind

**One Mind**

I run my fingers through her hair. It's jet black. She has a round face. Her asian features are prominent. I wouldn't guess she was half Chinese and half American. Her social worker told me she has no relatives and with the death of her mother she has no one.

She is alone in the world. I wonder what will happen to her. A foster home maybe. An orphanage? Do they even have orphanages anymore?

Maybe I, no, maybe Peeta and I can care for her. How do I ask Peeta? He's such a good person but is this asking too much? I don't know. I'm so confused.

"You two have been inseparable since they admitted you."

"Peeta, shush. Hannah just went to sleep." I take his hand and we leave the pediatric ward. "She needs all the attention she can get. She has no one since her mother died."

"I know. And you're doing a great job." He kisses me on the cheek. "Listen there is something I want to talk to you about." He pulls over to the lounge and we sit.

Something is wrong. "What's up?"

"Well first. Your doctor says you'll be discharged in two days."

"I know. He told me. But what else do you want to tell me?"

"Hannah is also being discharged." I knew that also. I nod.

"She has nowhere to go." Tears start to well up in me. "So I was thinking we could take her home."

"What?"

"I was talking to her social worker."

"And?"

"If it's alright with you?"

"What?"

"We can apply to be her foster parents."

"What?"

"Like I said. We can apply to be her foster parents." I'm speechless. "So what do you think?"

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" I can't contain myself. I wrap my good arm around him and squeeze. "Of course it's alright. You must be a mind reader."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh my God Peeta. I had the same idea." Well that's it, we are of one mind.

* * *

"Are you sure you're ready for this Mrs. Mellark." The social worker asks me.

"Yes why?"

"You have not only Hannah's injuries to contend with but also your's." I understand her concern.

"Yes. We'll be fine. We're staying with my mother and she is a nurse. She's thrilled to help out." I take Peeta's hand.

"Okay then we'll move on. If you just sign here and here Hannah will be you's to care for." I sign and then Peeta signs. "Mr. Mellark. I see you applied to the court to become Hannah's legal guardian."

"Yes."

"Good. If you need any help just call me."

"Thank you Miss McClain. You've been a great help." We both shake her hands.

"Good luck guys. Again if you need anything just call."

* * *

"Are you ready?" They bring me a wheelchair.

"Is this really necessary?" I ask my Captain.

"Yes. You're in a sling and you have to carry a little package." I turn to the door and Jonsie is carrying the little package. She stretches her arms out and I take her.

"Good morning." She throws her arms around my neck. "Okay. I'll use the wheelchair."

The Captain pushes me and the rest of the company surrounds me. Hannah sits on my lap. At the exit Peeta is waiting. "Hi." I take his hand and he takes over the job of pushing me.

It's great having my crew with me but my greatest surprise was at the hospital exit. A phalanx of firefighters line the walkway. Blue uniforms and black bunker gear from here to our car. Cheers abound and Hannah decides to be shy. She buries her head in my chest.

"Your ride madam." When Peeta stands in front of me Hannah puts her arms out. He picks her up. She kisses him. After I'm in the car we put her in the car seat. "Okay. Everybody ready."

It's about a ninety minute ride back to Panem. It runs the gamut from urban skyscrapers to parkland to suburban malls to dairy farms to village life to home. "Here we are Hannah. Home." Besides my mother our porch and front yard is filled with family and friends. Prim is home from school. Madge and Gale jr is here with her parents and all the Hawthorne's. Peeta's mom, dad and his brothers also.

"Let me hold her." My mom takes Hannah. "Your room is all ready." We follow my mom through the well wishers into our living room.

"Oh Peeta it's so nice." The banner hangs across the living room. Welcome Home Katniss and Hannah. "Let me get changed." I go upstairs to our new, albeit temporary, home. The house I grew up in.

Peeta and I are taking my mom's room. My mom in my old one and Hannah in Prim's. Prim volunteered to sleep in the basement when she's home. "Ready for the party?" She puts out her arms. "I can't pick you up this time." I grab one hand and we walk. "Look everyone, the party girl is here." Hannah is swept up and passed around. Her new family is huge.

"Congratulations mommy."

"Thanks Madge. But it might be only temporary."

"What happens if you want to make it permanent?"

"You mean like adoption?"

"Yeah. What happens if you want her forever? To adopt her."

"We'll see. One day at a time Madge."

* * *

"And on this beautiful spring day we'll continue with our promotion ceremony. We are proud to introduce our new Lieutenants. The first step for the future leaders of this department." We stand at attention. "Thomas Roberts." He gets up and walks to the podium. They present him with his new brass. A set of collar pins. A silver bar on each lapel.

"John Bush."  
"Jonathan Tyack."  
"James Shute."  
"John Rooney."  
"Thomas Williams."  
"Katniss Mellark." I walk up to the podium and salute.

"Congratulations Lieutenant." The Chief holds out his hand and I shake it.

"Thank you Chief."

"Mommy, mommy, mommy."

"Hannah! Go back to daddy. Mommy's busy." Hannah wraps around my leg. "Peeta!" Peeta comes running over.

"Sorry Chief. My husband will take her."

"Don't worry Katniss. Hannah is our little mascot."

"Thank you sir." I salute and walk back to my seat with Hannah firmly clamped to my leg.

"I can call EMS to remove the growth on your leg." On of the newly promoted Lieutenants says to me. I giggle.

"Not a chance." I look down at our little addition. "Not a chance."

* * *

Thanks for reading FireGirl:Aftermath. If you haven't read FireGirl please do before September 11th. Both stories were very difficult to write at times but I'm glad I came up with a positive ending for the story. Pray for all our first responders and military.

I am taking the summer off from writing fanfiction. I'm writing the first draft of a novel.

A new story starts in September. It's title will be "The World According to Katniss." It will be the followup to "We're Having a Baby" and "The Wedding." On August 23 or 24 there will be a chapter of "Everlark Holiday Specials." It's very funny. :)

Have a nice summer and see you in September.


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